Dependency: A New Line Of Bunny Ears Perfume For The Alcoholic In Your Life
You hit the club dressed to the nines with whatever you found lying on the floor. Your heart works overtime to match that nasty beat, sweat rising from your pores. You see a sexy someone. You lock eyes. They pick up speed. Your bodies meet, they lean in…
“Jesus Christ, how much have you had to drink?” they ask in disgust.
“Honey, that’s not my drink,” you say. “That’s Dependency.”
Introducing Dependency, a groundbreaking new fragrance from Bunny Ears designed to create plausible deniability for the special drunk in your life.
Bottled at 190-proof, Dependency carries the sweet scent of a White Russian with the top notes of a dry martini, eventually giving way to the pungent aroma of several straight up shots of Fireball. Meaning you can drink a White Russian, dry martini, and several straight up shots of Fireball, and friends, family, and coworkers will be none-the-wiser.
Our fragrance will turn heads where it counts, whether it’s on the job site while you’re operating heavy machinery or at the courthouse during your second custody hearing. And married couples, don’t think we forgot about you! Dependency is great for winning arguments, giving you some much-needed deniability for your crippling substance abuse issues. Dependency will help you reinstate that sweet, sweet benefit of a doubt you so desperately need.
Dependency isn’t just for the high-functioning alcoholic in your life — it can also be used to mask the occasional (or not so occasional!) bender. We recently applied a liberal amount of the product to a Bunny Ears staffer and sent him out on the town, and nearly 70% of all people he encountered said they were pleasantly surprised his pants were not soiled. Another 10 percent said they were impressed by how well he could communicate, considering they assumed he had been binge drinking for three days. The remaining 20 percent assumed he had been covered in liquor akin to a Gatorade dunk during a football post-game celebration. That’s what we at Bunny Ears like to call “results.”
And don’t just take our word for it: Dependency topped the 2018 list of “Most Socially Destructive Inventions,” dethroning Twitter’s 12-year winning streak.
The perfect gift for the drunk, wino, and lush plaguing your social scene, Dependency is a limited edition new fragrance, so make sure to get it before you’re stuck dealing with street prices. And don’t forget to keep an eye out for future Bunny Ears colognes and perfumes, including Peer Pressure, Crunk, and our seasonal fragrances, Relapse and Relapse for Men.
Images: Pexels, Pixabay