Tag Archives: Ken Hanley

Everything was so hazy at first… In the distance, I saw myself in a board meeting, and I was CEO, my eyes glowing with pride. Shadows parted way, and I suddenly saw myself on a date with a perfect 10, confident, stylish, leaning in for a first kiss. But the fog returned, and when it …

For some people, the shower is a place of absolute comfort where you can sing, formulate insane Fresh Prince fan theories, or even shed a few tears without judgment. For others, the shower is a place of vulnerability, where the ultimate embarrassment or a knife-wielding maniac is only separated by the tug of a curtain. …

You hit the club dressed to the nines with whatever you found lying on the floor. Your heart works overtime to match that nasty beat, sweat rising from your pores. You see a sexy someone. You lock eyes. They pick up speed. Your bodies meet, they lean in… “Jesus Christ, how much have you had …

Earlier this year, I may have ill-advisedly shared five cocktail recipes with Bunny Ears readers during a, um, difficult time in my personal life. In the midst of a brutal divorce, I succumbed to the devil brew, and I was advised by my “lawyer” to check into a rehabilitation facility. I’m happy to report that I’m …

Creative types, listen up: It might be nice doing what your heart desires, but you’ll never make any money that way. Do you really think you’re going to be able to find success with your emotional, patient lifestyle when there are so many other lifestyles willing to please everyone else in your life? It’s about …

At ten a.m. I was in London, taking in the sights of Trafalgar Square. 20 minutes later, I was on the outskirts of Paris, awaiting freshly cooked crepes from the country’s finest pastry chef. By noon, I found myself in Japan, experiencing state-of-the-art technology designed specifically to clean my fartbox. This technology would later come …

I’ve been to the bottom, man. Last night was the fourth straight evening I spent catching z’s in my vehicle. Granted, it’s happened to the best of us, especially us common folk who refuse handouts and breadcrumbs from the 1%. But it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you’ve …

Whenever I saw those stories on the news about kids and the internet, I always thought, “Not my daughter.” But then it happens to you—you get Freaky Friday’d with your teen, and it hits you like a ton of bricks: You don’t know the first thing about your kid. (Also, you look in the mirror …

As a resident of the great state of New Jersey, I’m often asked, “Is New Jersey as bad as everyone says it is?” And good news: There’s plenty of cool stuff to enjoy in New Jersey if you know where to look. However, don’t look too hard, or you just might find a dead body! …

As the resident environmentalist at Bunny Ears, it should be no surprise to anyone that I’m absolutely disgusted by everyone and everything. From the wasteful scourge that loves to punish Mother Earth with their repugnant, neverending consumption to the phonies who think that recycling plastics and buying hybrids make them eco-friendly, I’ve been on my …

What site is this? The blue header … It looks like Facebook. Wait … Doesn’t Twitter sometimes have a blue header? My God, what if I’ve taken a left turn and stumbled into Tumblr territory? My name is Ken Hanley, and I suffer from short-term memory loss as a result of a vicious assault by …

Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide, our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. This week we’ll be taking you through: The Beginner’s Guide To Using Your Three Magic Wishes First off, CONGRATULATIONS! As much as the media wants you to believe that …

Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide to [Blank], our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. Life is full of exciting opportunities, and while it’s fine to tackle a new adventure on your own, we here at Bunny Ears know that it’s better …

If you’ve been single in the digital age, you know how the story goes: you meet the right guy and/or gal, you connect over your favorite episodes of The Office or where you were during Occupy Wall Street, and you start planting the seeds for a casual fling. You set the date. You set the …

Guys, wedding speeches are the worst, am I right? We’ve all had to sit through some mediocre, if not humiliating, toasts throughout the years, and I’m sure we’ll have to sit through many more. Fortunately, my toast won’t be one of them, as- believe it or not- it’s the culmination of a 20 year revenge …

For as long as I could remember, I’ve always been a pussy. I vividly recall the days where I’d be standing alongside countless cowards at the nearest grocery store, spending my hard-earned money on frozen pizzas, boxes of dry macaroni, or preservative-filled burgers. Some call it sustenance. Some even call it satisfying. But let’s call …