The Trendiest Places To Find Dead Mobsters in New Jersey
As a resident of the great state of New Jersey, I’m often asked, “Is New Jersey as bad as everyone says it is?” And good news: There’s plenty of cool stuff to enjoy in New Jersey if you know where to look. However, don’t look too hard, or you just might find a dead body!
I’m not saying criminal activity has turned New Jersey into a mass grave with a working economy, and I’m definitely not saying that organized crime is a pandemic (or endemic? Whichever one means it’s always here, all the time). But that being said, there are several key spots where the morbidly-minded tourist can basically guarantee a corpse sighting, and we here at Bunny Ears have compiled the definitive list of notable venues to find deceased goombahs in the Garden State!
Previously featured on the Food Network’s popular television program Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, Rutt’s Hut is a staple of the New Jersey restaurant scene as well as the home of the “Ripper,” a deep-fried hot dog that bursts out of its own skin, among many other stomach-busting choices.
While you’re chowing down on a couple of franks, keep an eye out for a rotting corpse in a tracksuit, neck cut ear-to-ear in a mob-style hit, likely by a nearby dumpster or fence. Let’s just say Rutt’s Hut’s phenomenal food makes the harsh reality of gangland violence much easier to swallow!
The future home of Wrestlemania 35, MetLife Stadium is one of New Jersey’s premiere venues for exciting sports games, pulse-pounding concerts, monster truck rallies, and the best tailgating in the country. But if you’re gearing up for showtime with a few beers, don’t be surprised if the car next to you is filled with murdered mob enforcers.
Littered with gunshot wounds, these bodies are for sure a message to rival mafia associates, so try to keep your distance—you won’t want any of your cold Miller Lite’s winding up in an active crime scene!
You may know it as the place where Artie Lange did heroin and ate mozzarella fries, or perhaps the place where the manager paid to try to have his wife murdered. But for countless New Jersey residents, the Tick-Tock Diner is an iconic eatery.
Before you start bragging about your delish dinner on social media, breathe in the fresh New Jersey air and see if there’s a vehicle with a whacked wiseguy stuffed in the trunk, complete with a rat jammed down his throat. There may be consequences for crossing the boss, but the Tick-Tock Diner is consequence-free if you’re looking for the perfect pairing of food and fun.
While some may tell you that Atlantic City is the best location for cheap thrills around these parts, the Meadowlands Racetrack is still rocking a mix of new world flavor and old school excitement. Whether you want to play the ponies or grab a cocktail, there’s something for everyone at this good time getaway.
However, the name alone should inspire visions of turf war fall-out, and the parking lot is usually filled with dearly departed goodfellas. From capsized cadavers slumped over execution-style, to skeletons floating in barrels of acid, the Meadowlands Racetrack is to murdered mobsters as Coachella is to intolerable twentysomethings on Molly.
Various Locations, American Dreams Meadowlands
Upon its opening in early 2019, American Dreams Meadowlands aims to raise the bar on trendy destinations in NJ . But with 15 years of troubled construction, American Dreams Meadowland may also qualify as New Jersey’s largest graveyard. Visitors could potentially even embark on a scavenger hunt in which they look for the various missing pieces of buried gangsters hidden in the most anticipated recreational entertainment megaplex in the country. It will undoubtedly serve as a reminder to guests that even though mafiosos may die, dreams live forever!
We hope you enjoy your time in the Garden City, and let us know if there’s any corpse-filled sites we may have missed.
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