7 Fragrances That Will Remind You Grandma’s Gone Forever
These refined, often floral perfumes are timeless classics. They will make you feel sophisticated and chic and also remind you that grandma is dead forever. Scent is the strongest sense tied to memory, so spray some of the below fragrances on that hot young bod and remind yourself that grandma’s never coming back!
1.) Chanel No. 5
Just like Coco Chanel, grandma was fashionable, feminine, and may have secretly been involved with the Nazis. In fact, Chanel No. 5 is still one of the most popular old lady smells to this day. This classic fragrance will transport you back to that time grandma told a story about her sister’s husband’s friend’s landlord’s cat in excruciating detail. Also, remember how she thought she had to be loud on long distance calls? RIP.
2.) White Shoulders
Another classic old lady smell we feel comfortable talking about. Feed your memory with luscious and warm floral scents that will make you recall your grandmother and grandfather shouting at each other from across the hall:
“I can’t hear you!”
3.) Tea Rose, Rose Water, Anything With Rose In It, Really
Rose-based scents are so grandmotherly they’ll instantly remind you that you still aren’t married. Yes, still. No you’re not seeing anyone right now. Yes you know your sister is married with kids. You really want to focus on your career right now, Grandma.
Basically, wear rose to remind you how Grandma died without seeing you get married and therefore thought you would never be happy.
4.) Anything By Crabtree And Evelyn
Any scents and products from this brand will instantly remind you of the time Grandma sent you a gift basket in college followed by a lecture about thank you notes.
5.) Floral Linen Spray
Grandma came from a time when the economy wasn’t terrible and people used things like doilies, linen spray, and “the good china.” Whenever you stayed at Grandma’s house the sheets always smelled like linen spray. Grandma even used it when the family left her in that nursing home! Use linen spray whenever you want to think about abandoning your grandmother who loved you so much.
Sometimes Grandma kept her perfume bottles for so long the only scent left in them was this preservative whale barf. Sniff this waxy substance that whales cough up in hunks whenever you want to remember Grandma, or the throat disease that killed her.
7.) Melt Down A Bunch Of Cough Drops And Spray Them On Your Skin
This is the quickest way to remind yourself of Grandma. How did you not catch that she was sick?? She literally had a bowl of cough drops sitting on her coffee table like it was candy! She’d get so excited when you came over she’d offer you a cough drop like that was normal! Grandma was so sick for so long she was eating cough drops like candy and you were too self-absorbed to notice. So bathe in liquefied cough drops and your sad, selfish tears.
Oh regret! You smell so strong! So floral! Just accept that Grandma is gone and will forever haunt you through various perfumes and department stores.