Congratulations, new plant parents! A lot of lifestyle blogs waste your time recommending beautiful containers for your new plant babies, like origami-inspired ceramics or rustic converted claw-foot tubs. We recognize that these things may have their uses, but you know as well we do that you’re not capable of keeping anything alive, so here are some beautiful garbage cans where your soon-to-be-dead friends can not live.
DIY Painted Trash Can
Grab a bucket and go wild! The only limit is your imagination and your work ethic, which is admittedly so poor that you are unable to perform the simple tasks necessary to keep house plants alive.
With just a little paint and way more effort than it would take to just water your plant, you can transform any old garbage can into a beautiful receptacle for your failure. A DIY painted trash can is a great way to nurture your inner artist, which is important, because you’re unable to nurture your outer house plants.
Adorable Hungry Garbage Can
If you’re the type of person who kills a lot of plants, presumably for the sheer thrill of it, you’re in luck. This hungry, hungry can is eager to consume your shameful secrets. Yummy in the tummy!
Instead of waiting until your plants are dead, you can save time by putting them directly in this adorable garbage monster. We like this trash can because it reminds us of you: also a garbage monster.
Wicker Waste Basket
Don’t let your jade plant or cactus bum you out for weeks at a time as you watch it slowly decline. Instead, place your healthy succulents directly into this beautiful handcrafted wicker waste basket.
Its small size is perfect for a tiny plant requiring minimal upkeep that you were nevertheless unable to keep alive. The basket’s soothing organic lines will remind you of the soothing organic curves of the stems and leaves you cruelly left to die.
Let’s be honest. You’re probably not going to paint a garbage can or purchase one from a lifestyle website. Either of those things would indicate that you’re a doer, when we know that you’re actually a killer. Just put your newly purchased houseplants directly into this regular dumpster. As you lift the lid, enjoy the dumpster’s calming vibrant green color. Really savor it. That’s a color that you’re not going to see day-to-day, you heartless demon.
Images: Kristina D.C. Hoeppner, Quinn Dombrowski