Fresh And Flirty Tips For Dressing Like Your Favorite Serial Murderers
Ah, autumn. The favored season of privileged millennials the world over. As this pumpkin spice-filled time rolls around, the girls in your cannabis yoga class will all be donning their finest angora leg warmers and hand-knitted capes. And that’s fine. But you’ll stand out even more with a wardrobe that’s both seasonal and instantly iconic by dressing up as your all-time favorite mass murderer. Our exclusive serial killer style guide is guaranteed to have you dressed to kill in no time (see what we did there?).
Jack The Ripper
Easily, the most fashionable of the serial killers and a girl’s absolute wardrobe dream. Frilly shirts, lace-up boots, top hats…get out. This iconic look is both vintage and timeless, much like the opium addiction that accompanies it. Use a different name every time you introduce yourself to lend an air of mystery to it all.
There are three key items that make up this unique ensemble: dark-rimmed glasses, a navy blue blazer, and a pair of plaid pants. Remember, fashion isn’t always about trend-chasing. Sometimes it’s about making a statement. And this look absolutely screams, “I’m not afraid of a bold pattern, and also I sometimes kill people.”
This trendy look is both simple and versatile, and it easily transitions from day to night. Pair a navy jumpsuit with flats or strappy sandals for comfortable-yet-professional daytime work attire. Then make the transition to evening-wear by simply spraying white paint all over a mask. Crunched for time? Just spray that paint directly on your face!
John Wayne Gacy
For this whimsical look, you’re going to need a clown suit and a supernatural amount of patience (and most people will confuse you with Pennywise, so be prepared for that). Splash red finger paint all over your clothes and constantly explain to people that John Wayne Gacy was also a painter and it’s not blood it’s paint and you’ve never even seen American Horror Story. Or carry around a mop and bucket and ask everyone you meet for directions to the nearest hospital. Only one in five will actually call the cops on you. Promise.
That Monster From Pan’s Labyrinth
Glue fake eyeballs all over everything? I don’t know. What is this movie even about?
The Zodiac Killer
This one is all about commitment and expressing your inner-most self through personal aesthetics. The Zodiac wasn’t afraid to go big. Black executioner’s hood? Check. Thick-rimmed glasses? Check. Shirts with zodiac symbols all over them? Oh, yeah. This is the ensemble for those who are feeling a little extra.
While not technically a serial killer or a mass murderer, the King Of The Monsters killed a lot of people. And even more than scales, height, or radiation breath, ol’ Gojira is all about that IDAGAF swagger. Dress however big you want, wear a bold makeup lewk, and kill indiscriminately.