What The Things You Lift With Your Vagina Say About You

September 9, 2019 by

Vaginal weightlifting is all the rage right now. And yes, I know what you’re thinking: finally! Our ancestors would be so very proud. Nothing says female empowerment quite like dangling a dumbbell from your vajay. But don't think for one second that this glorious new activity simply involves the use of normal hand weights you’d find at a gym. Oh no. Like any absurd new health fad, this one entails a major DIY twist. As in using random weighted objects you find around your home. This clearly begs the question: What does your favorite vaginal weightlifting item say about you? Find out below!

1 / 10
AVOCADOS. You’re definitely a beginner. Congratulations on taking the first step to (em)powering your vagina! You also have a framed avocado portrait in your bathroom. Please take it down.
2 / 10
A CACTUS PLANT. You like living on the wild side. You’ve named your vagina Hunter S. Rompson.
3 / 10
LA CROIX. Your life is ruled by “the thirst.” You think your vagina smells like peaches, and it probably does!
4 / 10
YOUR COPY OF "THE SECRET." You haven’t read anything since 2006. Except for that blog on vaginal weightlifting.
5 / 10
THAT AVOCADO PORTRAIT. That is not what we meant and you know it.
6 / 10
A SMALL CHILD. Wow. Really? Just, wow.
7 / 10
A LAPTOP. "Efficiency" is your favorite word and you're proudly Type A. Also, you hate the word “vagina.”
8 / 10
A CHRISTMAS TREE. You value family, friendship, and tradition, and you hate to see things go to waste. Which is exactly why you're upcycling last year's Christmas tree for this.
9 / 10
A SHOVEL. You don't take shit from anybody, just like your vagina and that dead body buried in your rose garden.
10 / 10
A YACHT. You're a force to be reckoned with, and we're honestly very afraid of you.

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