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…Email From Mom Has 4 FWDs In Subject Line…
…Report reveals Rice-A-Roni actually from Detroit…
…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….
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…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
…Update: Only very tiny hats now cool…
…Breaking – There’s A Spider In Your Pocket…
…Research shows laughter definitely not the best medicine…
…Hurricane wipes out town of Duckberg…
…Scientists find that deja vu is just alternate timeline of you dying…
…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…
…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…
…Local white guy “gets it”…
…Man discovers woman already knows thing he was going to tell her….
…Adult Hearing Mom Use Their Full Name Still Terrified…
…Sugar daddy eaten by ants…
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…Breaking: Absolutely no one wang chunging tonight…
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…Reported discovery of new planet turns out to be your mom…
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… Michael Jordan Comes Out Of Retirement To Dunk On Angela Merkel…
…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…
…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
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…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…
…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…
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…Am I standing right behind you? The answer might surprise you!…
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…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
…Spoiler alert: The milk has gone bad…
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…Hospital Cracks Down On Patients Getting Chemo For Fun…
…Against All Odds, Man Learns To Dance…

The Newest Face Mask Trend Is Winning A Kid’s Choice Award So Nickelodeon Will Slime You

Bunny Ears is thrilled to introduce you to the next hot trend in face masks: winning a kid’s choice award so Nickelodeon will slime you. It turns out that famous slime is actually a powerful anti-aging serum that is (according to a spokesperson) “absolutely, 100% not made out of the bodies of expired Kid’s Choice winners,” so we knew you’d want to get your hands—or rather, your shriveling, normally aging face—on it. The only surefire way is to win a Kid’s Choice Award, so your first step is to pick the award you want to win.

Winning a Music Award

To win a Kid’s Choice Award in music, you’ll need to be more than just hot. You’ll need to be very, very hot. It helps to be able to sing, but we have apps for that now. It’s much more important to focus on your look and on having “it.” If you have to ask if you have it, you can’t afford it. Once you have your snappy outfits picked out, it’s time to go viral! Don’t overthink it. All you need to go viral is to get over a million views on YouTube.

Winning An Acting Award

I’ll be honest: Winning a Kid’s Choice Award will be much easier if you’re already a TV or movie star with a young fanbase. If you’re not already one of those, you’ve got quite the task ahead of you. First, you’ll want to get some headshots and an agent. If you’re already successful in another Hollywood field or have rich and famous parents, just let everyone know you’re ready to break into stardom. If those conditions don’t apply for you, you may want to skip the acting category and just die in a hole. Also, stop reading our website. We don’t want you, either.

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Whatever The Weird New Category Is This Year

If you’re an unfamous unfortunate, try to win whatever the new category is this year. In 2018, it was “Favorite Funny YouTube Creator.” The great thing about this category is that anyone with a camera on their phone can make eligible content, so throw up some videos and then just make sure your channel gets billions of hits. It’s as easy as baking a pie and then making sure that pie gets billions of hits.

After You’ve Won

Congratulations! You became a youth sensation and got slimed on live TV. Find a nice grassy lawn and roll around in your slime. You may be tempted to wash the slime off almost immediately, but you mustn’t. By leaving it on, you’ll enjoy the full healing powers of the goo. Plus, when people ask you about it or just look at you in disgust, you can pull your Nerf trophy out of your pocket and casually mention that you just won a Kid’s Choice Award. Win-win!

Images: Nick Hotel, PixabayNickelodeon

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1 Comment
  1. I’m glad that Bunny Ears.com posted a report about Nickelodeon.. I love Nickelodeon, especially when it comes to SpongeBob SquarePants!!!!! I will forever be a Nickelodeon fan and I will also continue to be a Bunny Ears fan too.. I love the pins and I’m glad they got shipped to me!!!!! They are great!!! I hope Macaulay can come see me in my home town of Magee,Mississippi soon, maybe about summer of 2019!!!!!

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