bunnyears

…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….
…Unusually Buff Dog Not Breaking Eye Contact…
…Woman With Scoliosis Has Detailed Knowledge Of Floor-…
…Local Couple Adopts Blind Dogs And Just Puts Them Down…
…Woman Memorizes Snapple Fact In Case Tonight’s Party Is That Bad…
…Hurricane wipes out town of Duckberg…
…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…
…Study: Loss Of Car Leads To 1000% Catcalling Increase…
…Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…
…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…
…Single Woman Manages To Meet Food Delivery Minimum…
…According to studies accordions are unsteady…
…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…
…Survey finds startling amount of ghosts are racist….
…Update: Only very tiny hats now cool…
…Scientists find that deja vu is just alternate timeline of you dying…
…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
…Single 32 Year Old Patiently Waits For Friends To Get Divorced…
…Against All Odds, Man Learns To Dance…
…Did Tupac fake his birth?…
…Man discovers woman already knows thing he was going to tell her….
…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…
…Research shows laughter definitely not the best medicine…
…Report reveals Rice-A-Roni actually from Detroit…
…Breaking – There’s A Spider In Your Pocket…
…Violent Pokémon dispute sparks trade war…
…Drugs In Water Supply Treat Fish’s Depression…
…A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…
…Adult Hearing Mom Use Their Full Name Still Terrified…
…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…
…6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…
…Millennials Are Disrupting The Banjo Industry…
…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…
…Local white guy “gets it”…
…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…
…Sugar daddy eaten by ants…
…Am I standing right behind you? The answer might surprise you!…
…According to studies studying causes cancer…
…Email From Mom Has 4 FWDs In Subject Line…
…Breaking: Absolutely no one wang chunging tonight…
…Chill Girlfriend Constantly Suppressing Everything…
…13th month discovered between February and March….
…Quiz: Is This The Good Milk?…
…New Boyfriend Eats Imitation Crab Straight From The Package…
…Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…
…Man pretty sure Game Of Thrones is historically accurate…
… Michael Jordan Comes Out Of Retirement To Dunk On Angela Merkel…
…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
…Hospital Cracks Down On Patients Getting Chemo For Fun…
…Reported discovery of new planet turns out to be your mom…
…Very smart toilet begs for death…
…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…
…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…
…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…
…Big dick energy drink selling poorly…
…Spoiler alert: The milk has gone bad…

Thanks To Free Range Parenting, I Haven’t Seen My Kid In Weeks!

My daughter, Willow, has always been a free spirit. She loves to explore and solve problems on her own. I know every mother thinks their child is brilliant, but when she broke the time record at her Montessori school’s escape room, I knew I had a child who could handle herself.

I first heard about free-range parenting at our Mommy and Me drum circle. I was intrigued by the concept, so I decided to do some research and tailor the philosophy to fit our family dynamic. The idea is simple: The only way for a child to learn responsibility is by trusting it enough to make its own decisions, so once a child knows the difference between right and wrong, they should be entrusted with the same freedom as adults. Free-range parenting isn’t total anarchy, however. I compiled a simple list of guidelines that I heavily suggested she followed if she felt like it was the right thing to do.

Willow’s Rules (abridged) :

  • Stay hydrated.
  • Don’t cross major highways without someone eight years or older accompanying you.
  • Please let us know if you are going to be out later than expected.
  • Make friends! Try using your “yes and” technique when approached by “strangers”.
  • A scraped knee is not a crisis; emergency trips home should be reserved for snake bites and accidental gluten consumption.
  • Leave your screens at home; wood is nature’s iPad.
  • Be grateful.
  • Be present.
DON’T MISS:  Healthy, Natural Foods To Eat Off A Dick

We’re now on week seven of this new philosophy, and things are going brilliantly. It’s liberating for both of us. Time I used to spend carting Willow to and from activities and watching her like a hawk at playgrounds is now free for embroidery and sound baths, and she’s been using her newfound independence to explore her interest in collage. Here’s one of her most recent pieces:

free range parenting

It looks like she’s made some friends as well. Her best bud at the moment seems to be someone named Forest John. Apparently, his parents let him out with a camera, because she loves sending us pictures he’s taken of her holding up current newspapers making silly faces. I’m guessing it’s some sort of meme-challenge that we’re too old to understand. Regardless, I think she’s won, because we have at least seven of the things decorating our fridge now.

free range parenting

Otherwise, we haven’t heard a peep! Our journey hasn’t been entirely hitch-free, though. We did have to address an issue with Willow regarding financial support. When she agreed to this lifestyle, she conceded that whenever she was home, we would take care of her, but any outdoor spending was to come from her trust fund. Needless to say, we were not pleased when we started getting Venmo requests in the hundreds of thousands from Forest John on behalf of Willow. These demands may be annoying and disrespectful of my personal time, but considering I haven’t had to buy any GoGurt or Shopkins in almost two months, it’s totally worth it.

Free-range parenting has made me a whole new woman and completely revitalized our family dynamic. I never thought that giving my child freedom would free me as well, but here we are. I haven’t seen my daughter in weeks, and we’ve never been closer.

Choose Mack's middle name!

Mack needs your help to choose his new middle name.

You Might Also Like

I Won’t Breastfeed My Child, And If That Makes Me A Bad Dad, So Be It

I don’t care what you think of me. I’m not going to do it.

Read More

I Replaced My Leg Tendons (For Yoga) And Now My Leg Is Haunted

I just wanted to do one freaking pose but now I have to deal with ghosts?

Read More

From The Archives: Bunny Ears Explains How To Deal With The Vapours  

A rare and delightful treat from the Bunny Ears Archive!

Read More
No Comments Yet

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Stalk Us

Video of the Week

We’re Back, Baby! Take THAT, Sawa!