Relationship Tips: A Handsy Guide To Touching The Butt

We as a society place a lot of restrictions on ourselves when it comes to relationships. But I’m here to let you know it’s OK to be spontaneous. Happy, even! As long as your sexual proclivities are between two (or more) consenting adults you can just feel free to go right on and let your freak flag fly. But I get it, this is new to you and you’re nervous. That’s fine, too! Let’s ease into it with a simple guide to the gentle art of butt-grabbing.

The Mutual Grab

You know you want to touch the butt. But did you ever consider maybe your partner feels the same way? Talk about your needs with each other and go to town if everyone is comfortable! If you’re both pretty new to the whole butt-grabbing thing, set some boundaries before you begin. Where are you comfortable grabbing the butt? In the bedroom? In the kitchen? Which feels more comfortable, one at a time or simultaneous grabbing? Eyes closed or nah? Keep an open line of communication as you discover your personal preferences together.

The Walk ‘N’ Grab

This is perfect for those lucky enough to have a partner with a generous posterior. Naturally, you’ll want to smoosh that butt as frequently as possible … supposing your lover is down with you constantly squeezing their booty, of course. The technique for this one is simple: Grab on tight and go. At the park. At the mall. It doesn’t matter. Plant your hand firmly on their rump cleavage and just start walking.

How To Create An Ample Shelf

Some people just don’t have that much of a butt. And there isn’t anything wrong with that! People of all backgrounds, creeds, and badonkadonk sizes deserve to love and be loved. However, the no-butt butt-grab is definitely not for beginners. So, make sure you’ve progressed in skill level before attempting. That said, there is one simple trick to creating an ample shelf ripe for fondling. Grabbing your lover’s derriere from a 45-degree angle in an upward scooping motion has been known to create a mound in even the flattest of backsides. Remember to ask your partner’s consent before you begin. I find a straightforward, “May I grab your butt in a 45-degree angle, upward scooping motion so as to create a mound?” tends to work very well.

The “I’ll Do It Myself”

Between relationships? Not a problem! You don’t need no man! Approach your mirror confidently and with purpose. Let yourself know exactly what you have in mind. “Look, I know we’re working on ourself right now. Being single has been a blast and I’m really not looking for anything serious. I just really need to grab a butt.” If you’re fine with it, go right ahead. Reach both hands backward and squeeze. Or if your arms are long enough, criss-cross them around your hips to create the illusion of a gentle, yet sensual hug. Don’t feel embarrassed by the DIY approach. No one knows better how much pressure to apply to your tush than you. Create a nightly ritual out of your self-induced butt-grabbing activities. It will be the best 36 minutes of your entire day.