When To Tell Your Kids That Santa Died From Autoerotic Asphyxiation
It’s something every parent wonders.
Color Of The Month: Artificial Banana Flavoring (Synesthesia Edition!)
It’s literally all we can hear, taste, and smell.
Who You’ll Come Back To Haunt After You Die, Based On Your Sign!
Will it be Janice? Or maybe Bill Cosby?
The Best Jokes To Help Deflect Judgement When You’re An Adult Buying Lunchables
Like, “Hey — how did THESE get in here?”
The Best Movies Of 2019 We Never Saw Because Caleb’s Babysitter Quit
Based on commercials during ‘Paw Patrol,’ we think these movies were great!
Let Us Prepare For The Arrival Of Father Depression!
The days are getting colder, and that means Father Depression is on his way.
Is Your Tall Neighbor Plotting Against You Up There In The Sky?
Find out what he’s up to once and for all.
Cool Shit You Can Buy Instead Of Sending Your Dumb Kids To College!
Have you ever thought about owning a capybara?
Quiz: Which ‘They Don’t Think It Be Like It Is, But It Do’ Are You?
They don’t think it be like it is! But it do.
Mermaids Facts To Scream Over Your Uncle’s Racist Rants This Thanksgiving
It’s a surefire way to survive the day intact.
So What Exactly Happens If The Burger King Produces No Heir?
The Burger Kingdom finds itself in dire straits.
This New ‘Sesame Street’ Muppet Teaches Kids About Butt Stuff
His name is Pooter Donkulus, and he’s moving to the neighborhood early next year.
Color Of The Month: Green Ketchup
Some call it an abomination. We call it the official color of November 2019!
Fetish Of The Month: Constant, Laborious Dedication To Getting Me Off
It takes both time and commitment to get me anywhere even close to an orgasm.