Mimes: Are You Pretending To Wash Your Hair Too Much?

Mimes have active jobs. In a typical day, the average mime will usually pretend to do a wide range of challenging physical activities: from playing tug-of-war, to jogging, to leaning against walls. All of this is sweaty, stinky work, and most mimes pretend to shower on a daily basis. And that’s great! However, if you pretend to wash your hair every time you pretend to shower, you may be over-doing it.

When it comes to your mime-based shower routine, it’s time to start thinking outside the box you’re pretending to be trapped in. If you pretend to wash your hair too often, you can wind up pretending to strip important essential oils from your scalp. Sure, looking completely dismayed at pretend frizzy, lifeless hair may be entertaining for your audience, but if you’re seeking a sleeker and more polished make-believe look, try holding off on those frequent mimed washings.

Some mimes choose to pretend to wash their hair only once a week, while others forgo it altogether. Don’t be afraid to experiment with what works for you and your hair type. Additionally, you can replace a fake lather with many other impressive space-work bits. Instead of using shampoo and conditioner, try pretending to shave your legs, or pretending to sing in the shower. The only thing people love more than hearing someone belt out a Journey song is not hearing someone belt out a Journey song. It’s totes meta!

When you do pretend to wash your hair, it’s important to use a high-quality fake cleansing product. Think of it as an investment: A single, imaginary bottle of expensive product can last for weeks—if not months! Plus, the next time you’re pretending to struggle through a windstorm, you’ll feel confident about the shiny, luxurious tresses blowing out behind you. And an extra bonus of cutting back on unnecessary shampooing? No more brushing fake dandruff off your black mime clothes (when you stop pretending to wash your hair, you stop pretending to dry out your scalp, too. It’s pretty simple).

Several famous mimes we spoke to have already adopted a lo-wash routine. One of those mimes is Minnie Moulet, a well-known French performer whose exceptional space work has taken her around the world and to the top of many an invisible ladder. Bunny Ears interviewed Moulet about her mime/beauty routine, and here’s the compelling transcript of that interview:

Bunny Ears: You’ve been a mime for over thirty years. And pretending to care for your appearance has been part of that work.

Minnie Moulet: [silence]

BE: Can you describe your morning routine for us?

MM: [silence]

BE: That’s really interesting. When did you decide to switch over to the no-shampoo movement?

MM: [silence]

BE: And how often are you washing your hair now?

MM: [silence]

Fascinating stuff, folks!