How Eating Ass Improved My Gut Health

January 18, 2019 by , featured in Health
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I have always had a sensitive stomach and am sometimes even put completely out of commission by certain foods. I’ve tried pills, fiber-rich foods, and probiotics, but I finally found something that works: Eating ass. Yep. Eating ass improved my gut health ten-fold.

It all started back when I was dating Tim, my first ever ass man. Only he was super selfish so being an “ass man” was more about his ass than anyone else’s. As much as I still resent him, he did one thing for me: After three months of dating, my usual bloating and constipation was gone.

However, after we broke up and I stopped eating ass on the regs, the symptoms came back. At first I thought it was the stress of the break up. But after a one-night stand with that guy from my brunch place, I knew the truth.

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After I discovered eating ass improved my health, dating became more of a challenge. Not all of my partners cared about my health as much as I do. Some wouldn’t even let me eat their ass at all. Luckily due to fetish websites and my own instincts, I finally began to find suitable partners. My new partner Blake absolutely loves me despite my health issues and is more than willing to do everything he can to help. He even took out the bidet in his apartment and just wipes now! That’s love!

Images: Unsplash

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  1. wow, eating ass will save me mucho deniro since i won’t have to spend money on a fecal transplant.

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