I Farted Really Loudly Just Now, Um, Because It’s a New Health Thing?
You have to fart otherwise you’ll get sick. Just go with me on this.
Questions You’re Too Afraid To Ask Your Doctor About How Robots Have Sex
The most important questions you should definitely ask your doctor about robot sex, no matter how awkward you or they feel.
Summer Staples We Don’t Recommend You Stick Up Your Butt (This Time)
We’re saying ‘yes’ to summer and ‘no more’ to your lawsuits!
Don’t Just Minimize Your Pores, Psychologically Destroy Them
Humiliate them until they dissolve in shame and fear.
Summer’s Hottest Look Is Bleaching Then Tie-Dying Your Butthole
Bleaching your butthole is out. Bleaching then TIE-DYING your butthole is very in.
It Turns Out Oxygen Is Just A Poison That Takes 80 Years to Kill Us
100% of people who breathe oxygen will die at some point in their life.
Confront Your Fears And Self-Doubt By Practicing Open-Eye Sneezing
Yes, your eyes WILL fly out of your head and dangle on your cheeks. But you’ll have confronted your fears in the process.
Which Classic ’80s Board Game Is Responsible For Your Anxiety Disorder?
Do you panic during surgery? Do you constantly fear getting lost in the mall?
The Most Traumatizing Public Sex Maneuvers For Innocent Bystanders
You might never be able to stay at any Marriott-affiliated hotel or resort again. But it’s worth it!
Biodegradable Workout Equipment You’ll Only Use Once Anyway
Want to save the planet AND keep being an unimprovable slob? Our biodegradable work-out equipment lets you finally feel good about doing nothing!
Karaoke Songs With Long Instrumental Breaks Everyone Will Love
You’re probably used to singing the worst karaoke songs ever. If you’re one of those people who love singing songs that end too quickly, this is for you.
Even We’re Not Dumb Enough To Put Ginger Up Our Butts
We’ve got the ‘sticking stuff up your butt’ beat covered, thanks.
We’ve Discovered an All-Natural Vaping Alternative Called ‘Tobacco’
This amazing new tobacco plant is all-natural and therefore must be healthy. Right?
Wellness Lifehacks For Spring: April 29, 2019-May 5, 2019
Bunny Ears has your back when it comes to your Health and Wellness.
Aromainjury: Slowly Defeat Your Enemy With These Scent Oils
The less-practiced craft of Aromainjury will help you organically conquer that nosy coworker or messy roommate. Here are our favorite fragrances of annihilation!
‘I Don’t See Disease’ Is The Hottest New Health Trend!
Don’t let disease get you down. Fight through your illness with our bold new method of denying its existence! You’ll be healthy in no time!
Improve Your Child’s Immunity By Coughing In Her Face
Coughing directly in your child’s face is the ecological, non-toxic, and natural way to ensure they grow healthy immune systems.
Be The Most Fascinating Person at The Party By Drinking Mulled Urine
Hear me out, I don’t like the taste of piss. But I do like how it makes me appear interesting.
Self Care 101: Meditate To The Idea Of The Gang From ‘Entourage’
The bros got Vince through eight seasons and one movie.
Easy Diet Changes To Make You Healthier, Happier, and Afraid To Eat
It’s not hard to make these small changes in your life, it just takes a little planning and a TON of constant anxiety.
Maybe It’s The Meth Talking, But These Detox Tips Make Me Feel Like A God
Fuck! Are you feeling this?
Lose Weight With My Diet Of Artisanal LSD Tabs And Ditch Grains Fed To You Through Our Feed Hole
The Church Of False-Vestigially has implemented a state-of-the-art health program with only a 40% failure* rate. It’s called the “LSD Hole Diet,” and it’s totally shaking up the diet world.