Let Us Prepare For The Arrival Of Father Depression!
The days are getting colder, and that means Father Depression is on his way.
Become More Cultured By Covering Your Genitals In Yogurt
It’s not JUST a pun (though that’s admittedly a big part of this).
Fall Is Wonderful Unless You’re An Apple-Hands-Man Like Me
“Fall is but a living nightmare for an apple-hands-man.”
Smoking Oregano Is Good For You, I Swear I Did This On Purpose
All the health benefits from this plant I definitely didn’t buy by mistake.
Attention Men: It’s Okay To Talk About Penis Molting
I’m definitely probably not alone in this, right?
Boost Your Immune System With Ball Pit Immersion Therapy
Build up you defenses in the most disgusting place on earth!
I Farted Really Loudly Just Now, Um, Because It’s a New Health Thing?
You have to fart otherwise you’ll get sick. Just go with me on this.
Questions You’re Too Afraid To Ask Your Doctor About How Robots Have Sex
The most important questions you should definitely ask your doctor about robot sex, no matter how awkward you or they feel.
Don’t Just Minimize Your Pores, Psychologically Destroy Them
Humiliate them until they dissolve in shame and fear.
It Turns Out Oxygen Is Just A Poison That Takes 80 Years to Kill Us
100% of people who breathe oxygen will die at some point in their life.
Confront Your Fears And Self-Doubt By Practicing Open-Eye Sneezing
Yes, your eyes WILL fly out of your head and dangle on your cheeks. But you’ll have confronted your fears in the process.
Which Classic ’80s Board Game Is Responsible For Your Anxiety Disorder?
Do you panic during surgery? Do you constantly fear getting lost in the mall?
The Most Traumatizing Public Sex Maneuvers For Innocent Bystanders
You might never be able to stay at any Marriott-affiliated hotel or resort again. But it’s worth it!
Biodegradable Workout Equipment You’ll Only Use Once Anyway
Want to save the planet AND keep being an unimprovable slob? Our biodegradable work-out equipment lets you finally feel good about doing nothing!
Karaoke Songs With Long Instrumental Breaks Everyone Will Love
You’re probably used to singing the worst karaoke songs ever. If you’re one of those people who love singing songs that end too quickly, this is for you.
We’ve Discovered an All-Natural Vaping Alternative Called ‘Tobacco’
This amazing new tobacco plant is all-natural and therefore must be healthy. Right?
Aromainjury: Slowly Defeat Your Enemy With These Scent Oils
The less-practiced craft of Aromainjury will help you organically conquer that nosy coworker or messy roommate. Here are our favorite fragrances of annihilation!
‘I Don’t See Disease’ Is The Hottest New Health Trend!
Don’t let disease get you down. Fight through your illness with our bold new method of denying its existence! You’ll be healthy in no time!