The days are getting colder, and that means Father Depression is on his way.
It’s also incredibly painful.
FYI!
It’s not JUST a pun (though that’s admittedly a big part of this).
“Fall is but a living nightmare for an apple-hands-man.”
I thought you were eating clean?
Do you want to win the coveted Golden Wrist or not?
Yum!
‘Jennifer sometimes goes days without food!”
All the health benefits from this plant I definitely didn’t buy by mistake.
Your body deserves the best.
Like, VERY hungry.
You don’t stay this decrepit by doing nothing.
I’m definitely probably not alone in this, right?
It’s science!
It hurts so good!
And it can work for you, too!
Build up you defenses in the most disgusting place on earth!
We’re tired of the slander.
“We’re all in this together, so stop squirming.”
You have to fart otherwise you’ll get sick. Just go with me on this.
The most important questions you should definitely ask your doctor about robot sex, no matter how awkward you or they feel.
This isn’t easy.
What? Oh no.
What goes where?!
A Bunny Ears original poem.
Humiliate them until they dissolve in shame and fear.
What is wrong with you?
Oh God. Is this normal?
You may be surprised by these findings.
100% of people who breathe oxygen will die at some point in their life.
Yes, your eyes WILL fly out of your head and dangle on your cheeks. But you’ll have confronted your fears in the process.
Do you panic during surgery? Do you constantly fear getting lost in the mall?
We made a mistake, okay?
You might never be able to stay at any Marriott-affiliated hotel or resort again. But it’s worth it!
It’s easy!
Want to save the planet AND keep being an unimprovable slob? Our biodegradable work-out equipment lets you finally feel good about doing nothing!
You’re probably used to singing the worst karaoke songs ever. If you’re one of those people who love singing songs that end too quickly, this is for you.
This amazing new tobacco plant is all-natural and therefore must be healthy. Right?
Worth it.
The less-practiced craft of Aromainjury will help you organically conquer that nosy coworker or messy roommate. Here are our favorite fragrances of annihilation!
Don’t let disease get you down. Fight through your illness with our bold new method of denying its existence! You’ll be healthy in no time!
I mean who knows, right?
It’s for the best.
You know, for the health benefits.
