Don’t tell us you’ve never thought about it.
100% of people who breathe oxygen will die at some point in their life.
Yes, your eyes WILL fly out of your head and dangle on your cheeks. But you’ll have confronted your fears in the process.
We made a mistake, okay?
You might never be able to stay at any Marriott-affiliated hotel or resort again. But it’s worth it!
Being a stepmom is tough, but it can also be rewarding, like when your stepson begrudgingly says you can ride with him to your five-year high school reunion.
I realized I was doing everything exactly right.
We’re all going to die someday, but dumb toddlers usually don’t figure that out so soon. Whoops.
At your wit’s end with your kids eating their boogers instead of your delicious homemade meals?
This is the story of my intense gummy shark fetish.
It’s easy!
In 14 Easy Steps
Read on for the latest trends in dildo couture.
Have you heard of alternate nostril breathing?
Want to save the planet AND keep being an unimprovable slob? Our biodegradable work-out equipment lets you finally feel good about doing nothing!
The secret to rebuilding my confidence was admitting that I needed help – the help of a trusted therapist and of a pair of 5-foot-tall circus stilts.
You’ll want to stare into these bottomless, lonely cavities for the rest of your life.
The hottest new salad proteins are hopefully maggots, because that’s definitely what’s in this trendy salad pack we bought three weeks ago!
Want to look hot? Get a pair of glasses They’ll make you look hot. Especially if you’re already hot.
What’s good for your body is good for your cooch too.
And that’s the only reason.
I make sure my child’s creativity stays strong and vibrant by keeping him in an empty room.
You’re probably used to singing the worst karaoke songs ever. If you’re one of those people who love singing songs that end too quickly, this is for you.
Nearly 30 years later, the subject of the Spin Doctors’ memorable hit gives HER side of the story.
So, you played Jumanji and now your house is filled to the brim with animals. What do you do now?
We’ve got the ‘sticking stuff up your butt’ beat covered, thanks.
You won’t believe who my new dog will want to see cleansed in Holy Blood. Celebrities? Politicians? You? Also I bought her the most adorable new dress.
We need to teach our boys consent, mutual respect, and how to freaking rock at magic.
Check out our reviews of these actual savory ice cream flavors apparently made by demon aliens who want to ruin everything you love in this world.
When Bunny Ears used a stock image of my face in an article about micropenises, I thought my life was over. It was only just beginning.
My leash kid is on a leash. The dogs are on leashes. I don’t see the problem?
You may love your cats equally, but they aren’t all equal when it comes to personal responsibility.
Mother’s Day shouldn’t just be about the woman who actually gave birth to you. What’s wrong with honoring all the people you accidentally called “Mom?”
You wanna throw coffee in your boss’s face but it has to be the right kind because you are above all, professional.
Because brunch is expensive but tricking your friends into eating your gross food is priceless.
Self care is important. That’s why we want you to listen to your body. No, like REALLY listen to it. Know what we’re saying?
Having mulled over all the evidence since the dawn of time, we’ve realized that sex with men was an atrocious mistake, and we must apologize.
She’s always been there for you. So this year, why not give her the Mother’s Day of her dreams by having her plan the whole thing?
Drinking on Mother’s Day won’t help your partner and children truly appreciate you, but it WILL get you through another day without murder charges!
If you’re gonna sacrifice a virgin, you better sacrifice a virgin the right way.
Do animals put you in a better mood? Then you have to try the latest self-care trend, featuring adorable badgers! They’re cuddlier than they look!
Not everybody gets to stay at the most beautiful and luxurious hotels in the world. Especially not you anymore after what you’ve done in them.
Vape in style at your grandma’s funeral with these perfect, stylish rigs.
This amazing new tobacco plant is all-natural and therefore must be healthy. Right?
