How To Best Oppress Your Workers In The Era of Climate Change
Wondering how to oppress your workers responsibily in the era of climate change? We are too!
You Can Buy Culkin Cheddar As Long As You Don’t Ask Where It Comes From
Just try not to think too hard about it!
Need A Vacation From Your Vacation? Try Your Job!
Anything’s better than spending another minute with your family.
Is The Bunny Ears Pop-Up Coming To Your City? Because We’ve Lost It
If you see it, please let us know.
Everything That’s Gonna Bite You On This Summer Hiking Trip
Heading out into the wilderness for some hiking is a great way to reconnect with your true self and get your ass bit by majestic nature.
So You Called Mr. Feeny’s Name During Sex. Now What?
Your worst nightmare has come true. You called Mr. Feeny’s name during sex. You’ve always appreciated a distinguished gentlemen, and, in the throes of passion, you’ve let out a “Fee-hee-hee-hee-hee-ny!” louder and more impassioned than Eric Mathews himself could ever muster. Don’t worry—you’re not the first person this has happened to, and there are some […]
I No Longer Believe In Cage-Free Zoos Now That My Family Is Dead
The hyena ambush really sealed the deal.
I Farted Really Loudly Just Now, Um, Because It’s a New Health Thing?
You have to fart otherwise you’ll get sick. Just go with me on this.
Questions You’re Too Afraid To Ask Your Doctor About How Robots Have Sex
The most important questions you should definitely ask your doctor about robot sex, no matter how awkward you or they feel.
Styles Everyone Will Be Wearing When The Dystopian Regime Commands It
This is what Best Leader wants for us.
Healthy Twists On Picnic Favorites Literally No One Wants You To Make
Have you tried apple slices and cinnamon?!
I’m No Longer Married To The Sea, And I’m Ready To Mingle
I’m on the hunt for the ultimate white whale: love.
Finding the Perfect Vape Flavor To Pair With Your Glaring Personality Flaws
Looking to start vaping? Our team of experts will guide you into finding a flavor that nicely complements your inability to grow up.
Let Your Nemesis Know You’re Thriving With These Tasteful Billboards
Give the haters something truly majestic to admire.
A Comprehensive Review Of All The Best Monocles—Finally!
What ho, assorted plutocrats, barons of industry, and proper gentlemen!
The Most Instagrammable Ways To Die This Summer
Sure, death is forever. But so is the perfect instagram pic!
Our Guide To The Most Terrifyingly Authentic Renaissance Faires of 2019
Like the Harvard Yard Festival, where stake-burning is encouraged!
Uh Oh, Duolingo Wants Us To Learn “The Speech Of The Owl God”
It’s also calling each new challenge “mandated knowledge”?
Our Marshmallow Diet Lets You Camp In The Woods For Weeks Without Pooping!
Marshmallows are basically nature’s intestinal glue.
I Went Phoneless For A Week (Because A Mugger Stole My Phone)
Don’t you just hate it when we start going crazy when you’re without your phone for a week after a mass assailant robs you of it at gunpoint? Me too.
What Your Favorite La Croix Flavor Says About Your Sex Life
Are you a Passionfruit? Perhaps a Key Lime?
What You’d Shoplift From Lowe’s Based On Your Zodiac Sign
Will it be garden soil? Or perhaps a mailbox?
Deep Breathing Exercises For When Your Home Is Getting Robbed Right Now
Don’t let the stress of a home invasion get to you.