Lifestyle

Heads up, there are some Amazon links in this article that are Amazon Affiliate links. If you click it and buy stuff, we get some money. If you want to learn more, check out our privacy policy. Cleanses are all the rage right now. Any website you go to will talk about the latest cleanse with […]

Hey Bunnies! By now most of you are well aware of the virtues of crystal healing — specifically how it can help clear out our negative emotional and physical energies, making way for more light and balance in our lives. And you’ve also likely read about (or even tried) the increasingly popular trend of clasping […]

And that’s the only reason.

For as long as I could remember, I’ve always been a pussy. I vividly recall the days where I’d be standing alongside countless cowards at the nearest grocery store, spending my hard-earned money on frozen pizzas, boxes of dry macaroni, or preservative-filled burgers. Some call it sustenance. Some even call it satisfying. But let’s call […]

Because everybody has one. Right?

I know I destroyed that hotel room. But you can’t persecute me for participating in rage yoga. I will contest this outrageous bill.

Fellow spiritual siblings, if you’ve been on a vision journey over the last 12 months, you may be blissfully preparing for the season of peace and joy. Unfortunately, here on the bodily plane, it turns out that everything everywhere is now terrible. But nothing can stop the lighting of the menorah or the trimming of […]

Have fun, we guess?

The two events are purely coincidental.

It’s inescapable. No matter where you go, the government is going to mind control you either through low tech microwaves and chemicals in the water, or with high tech nanobots in your flu vaccines. Cuba showed us what happens when an inexperienced government tries its hand at mind control using tech that is well above […]

Guys. GUYS. I really need to tell you about this amazing new cat food diet and how it has improved my life. This isn’t another one of my fads. This has undeniable results. I’ve saved so much money, lost so much weight, and no longer fret about pretty much anything. And it’s fostered a stronger […]

We’ve heard about it in rap songs and on pamphlets, and we know it must at least be as great as McDonald’s because those are the two things they miss most on Orange Is the New Black. But what’s it really like?

Because keeping the spark alive takes work.

Whip out these Die Hard quotes on your first date and you are sure to be as cool as Mr. McClane himself.

Please don’t touch me.

For your next romantic evening in, why not try one (or all!) of the following runes, hand-selected by Church elders, to get those juices flowing?

Are your testicles smooth, fashionable add-ons or veritable Truck Nutz®? Balls are your body’s ultimate accessory, and you should care for them as such. Wrinkly testicles are SO OUT! You want your testicles to be shiny, spherical orbs for you and your partner(s) to enjoy. Here are some Bunny Ears–approved treatments that will get your […]

Summer is the perfect time for your children to engage in holistic learning. However, this can be hard to accomplish at home, especially when you have plans to attend a tropical resort clinic to learn mindful breathing while on a Mai Tai cleanse.  So to ensure that your Precious Little Ones get the most out […]

Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide to [Blank], our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. Life is full of exciting opportunities, and while it’s fine to tackle a new adventure on your own, we here at Bunny Ears know that it’s better […]

We guarantee love handles by Halloween.

Let’s face it – it’s not easy to live adjacent to wealth and status. That’s why it’s important to take the time to make your servants feel appreciated. Now before you spit out your mimosa and have FedEx send a printed copy of this article to your home via bike messenger so that you can […]

Hello, crystal fans! If you’ve been keeping up with my column, Crystal Chronicles, then by now you’ve heard the bad news: some of our beloved healing crystals are being sourced from mines with lax labor and environmental laws. In the Democratic Republic of the Congo, children as young as seven work in mines. In Myanmar, […]

I used to be like you. When I was a child, I could be satisfied with a simple vanilla cupcake. Oh, how wistful I am for those days of carefree innocence. As I grew older, my palate matured, and I craved the apple cinnamon crumble. I longed for the orange chocolate creme brulee. I was […]

Do you find it hard to stay motivated in both your professional life and your spiritual one? Don’t despair! We asked some of the most spiritual people we could find to tell us how they find that all-important balance, and we think you’ll find their answers… enlightening. Krystal, 27 (Yoga Instructor) “Yoga is obviously extremely […]

Guess who just got back today?

Men probably aren’t going to just hand their foreskin over, like the selfish, unstylish pricks they are.

Amuse-bouche. Literally, amuse the mouth. It’s a requirement for any restaurant worth its salt, and a staple of a good dinner party.  Amuse-bouche should be novel, memorable, and above all, daring. However, as a veteran host or hostess, you’ve already done the canapés, the ceviche, the spicy edamame with volcanic rock salt. To your chagrin, […]

Lifestyle. It’s a word that calls to mind helpful communities like ours, lavender-scented miscellany, and older couples who like to swing. Yet, all too often, our favorite web genre sub-designation gets tangled up with a set of leftists ideals, things that might make our zen-seeking Republican brothers, sisters, and inter-gender comrades in the elephant jammies confused […]

Are you and your partner missing that spark? Has the once fiery passion that burned between you like a throbbing Adonis somehow dulled into the cool flaccidity of Meatloaf’s neck flap? Even if you were forced to bring great shame to your house by answering “yes” to the previous questions, don’t despair! There is hope […]

So, so many things.

Are you struggling to find a good replacement for the soy you love? You’re not totally tofurked. We’ve got a list of incredible meat alternatives.

Seriously. Do whatever the fuck you want.

Of all the mysteries contained in this vast, wondrous universe, none has gripped philosophers, scientists, and amateur stargazers as tightly as one burning question, deceptively childlike in its simplicity yet so implacably difficult as to thwart centuries of tireless investigation by the world’s best minds. That question is, do planets have feelings? It’s a question […]

For too long it’s been the norm to keep one’s sex shenanigans secret from thy neighbor. No more, we say. No more.

But how did I get regular after taking the supplements when I was so constipated before, you ask? Guess what. That was also you. Your poops were stuck inside your colon waiting for you to believe in yourself.

I’m really good with kids because I understand them. Check out any kid and they’re most likely falling over, talking to themselves, or making crazy shit up. They’re basically me, mini-sized. So now that I’m an adult, and have spent 23 years without ‘em, I’m ready to get knocked up and pop out a few […]

I used to be an acupuncture fanatic, or as I liked to call it, an “acupunk.” But recently, I’ve found an even better form of stress relief: never putting needles anywhere in my body! Unlike acupuncture, which is complicated by pesky things like “the need for sterilization” and “a lack of rigorous scientific evidence,” inacupuncture […]

Great for reading in the bath!

Sun salutations, my spirit animals and metaphysical dilettantes! It’s your erstwhile wellness guru and glamping expert, Lonnie Standish. I feel absolutely ebullient to be starting an auspicious tenure at Bunny Ears! After twelve long years penning “The Gay Gadabout” for Food & Wine Magazine, I feel I have a great deal of acumen to lend […]

Parents hate it! Old people fear it! The government technically allows it under the Religious Liberty and Charitable Donation Protection Act of 1998! It seems that teens these days are scrambling to try out the hot new trend of church-taxing, or “chaxing.” It’s a lit craze that involves a 8323 tax form, one signed and […]

You’re welcome in advance!

To make sure you don’t get caught dead with last year’s trends, here’s a round-up of what’s in and what’s out this fall.

I think the single most frustrating part of being a woman must be when men don’t take you seriously. As I was explaining to my sister the other day, this problem springs from a refusal to listen to and understand women’s issues. But as a strong male ally, I always completely get what women are […]