Kathy Benjamin is the author of Funerals to Die For and a contributor to The De-Textbook. She's written for sites including Cracked, Grunge, and Mental Floss. Find her on twitter @KathyBenjamin.
Men probably aren’t going to just hand their foreskin over, like the selfish, unstylish pricks they are.
Morally compromise everyone you love for the day of your dreams.