5 Earthy Amuse-Bouche Ideas for Your Next Dinner Party
Amuse-bouche. Literally, amuse the mouth. It’s a requirement for any restaurant worth its salt, and a staple of a good dinner party. Amuse-bouche should be novel, memorable, and above all, daring. However, as a veteran host or hostess, you’ve already done the canapés, the ceviche, the spicy edamame with volcanic rock salt. To your chagrin, […]
RepubliZen: Enlightened Republican Quotes From Our Conservative Users
Lifestyle. It’s a word that calls to mind helpful communities like ours, lavender-scented miscellany, and older couples who like to swing. Yet, all too often, our favorite web genre sub-designation gets tangled up with a set of leftists ideals, things that might make our zen-seeking Republican brothers, sisters, and inter-gender comrades in the elephant jammies confused […]
4 Steamy Sex Tips for Spicing Up the Bedroom
Are you and your partner missing that spark? Has the once fiery passion that burned between you like a throbbing Adonis somehow dulled into the cool flaccidity of Meatloaf’s neck flap? Even if you were forced to bring great shame to your house by answering “yes” to the previous questions, don’t despair! There is hope […]
Meat-Based Tofu Alternatives We Love
Are you struggling to find a good replacement for the soy you love? You’re not totally tofurked. We’ve got a list of incredible meat alternatives.
What’s All This, Then? Objectively, Nothing Matters, So … Fuck It?
Seriously. Do whatever the fuck you want.
EXCLUSIVE INVESTIGATION: Do Planets Have Feelings?
Of all the mysteries contained in this vast, wondrous universe, none has gripped philosophers, scientists, and amateur stargazers as tightly as one burning question, deceptively childlike in its simplicity yet so implacably difficult as to thwart centuries of tireless investigation by the world’s best minds. That question is, do planets have feelings? It’s a question […]
The Real Nutritional Supplement Was Inside You All Along
But how did I get regular after taking the supplements when I was so constipated before, you ask? Guess what. That was also you. Your poops were stuck inside your colon waiting for you to believe in yourself.
How To Make Sure Your Neighbors Notice Your Secret Sex Dungeon
For too long it’s been the norm to keep one’s sex shenanigans secret from thy neighbor. No more, we say. No more.
All The Reasons Why I’m Ready For Kids At The Age Of 23
I’m really good with kids because I understand them. Check out any kid and they’re most likely falling over, talking to themselves, or making crazy shit up. They’re basically me, mini-sized. So now that I’m an adult, and have spent 23 years without ‘em, I’m ready to get knocked up and pop out a few […]
Inacupuncture: Relieve Stress by Never Putting Needles in Your Face
I used to be an acupuncture fanatic, or as I liked to call it, an “acupunk.” But recently, I’ve found an even better form of stress relief: never putting needles anywhere in my body! Unlike acupuncture, which is complicated by pesky things like “the need for sterilization” and “a lack of rigorous scientific evidence,” inacupuncture […]
This Week in Wellness in Wrestling
Sun salutations, my spirit animals and metaphysical dilettantes! It’s your erstwhile wellness guru and glamping expert, Lonnie Standish. I feel absolutely ebullient to be starting an auspicious tenure at Bunny Ears! After twelve long years penning “The Gay Gadabout” for Food & Wine Magazine, I feel I have a great deal of acumen to lend […]
Chaxing: The Hot New Teen Trend Where You Give My Church One Half Of Your Salary
Parents hate it! Old people fear it! The government technically allows it under the Religious Liberty and Charitable Donation Protection Act of 1998! It seems that teens these days are scrambling to try out the hot new trend of church-taxing, or “chaxing.” It’s a lit craze that involves a 8323 tax form, one signed and […]
Fall Trends: What’s In (Plaid!) And What’s Out (All Of Your Most Closely Guarded Secrets)
To make sure you don’t get caught dead with last year’s trends, here’s a round-up of what’s in and what’s out this fall.
I Empathize With Women Who Experience Ovipositor Pain Or Whatever
I think the single most frustrating part of being a woman must be when men don’t take you seriously. As I was explaining to my sister the other day, this problem springs from a refusal to listen to and understand women’s issues. But as a strong male ally, I always completely get what women are […]
Free-bleeding: It’s Not Just For Periods Anymore
Free-bleeding during your period is, of course, one of the most intense and respectful ways to embody our connection with Gaia. When we allow our menstrual blood to saturate our Lululemons without processed, cancer-causing tampons or pads in the way, we acknowledge ourselves as women, as complete beings, and of course, as superior to Margot […]
What Is This Bird Box Service And Can I Order ‘Just The Beaks’?
Honestly, what is bird box and why are all of my friends talking about it?
7 Lavish 4/20 Vacation Destinations Between Your Couch And Kitchen
Where are you going to go for Weed Christmas? Are you staying home? If so, here are the best spots for that perfect 4/20 vacation in your drab apartment.
From The Bunny Ears Test Kitchen: Pickled CBD Gluten-Free Cast-Iron Coconut Butter Crystal “Salmon” Taco Bowl With Salted Maca, Herbed Ghee, And Panamanian Venomous Toad
It’s summer, and at Bunny Ears, that means exactly two things: taco bowls and experimenting with dangerously powerful exotic hallucinogens from around the globe. Why not mix the two? After all, psychoactive substances have proven spiritual and psychological benefits, and taco bowls are delicious. To ensure a taco bowl of maximum mind-opening, exotic flavor, we’ll […]
The Feng Shui Sutra: Rearranging Furniture To Enhance Your Sex Life
We get it. Rearranging your heavy furniture just to change things up isn’t enticing enough to waste a weekend afternoon. But what if we told you there was a way to arrange your couch, side tables, and even that bowl of potpourri in a way that will harmonize your home with the erotic frequencies of […]
How To Talk About The Books You Only Bought Because They’re Pretty
Use words like ‘imagery’ and ‘prose.’
The Best Gifts For Father’s Day (And Yes They Are All Ties)
Hey, these are amazon links. If you actually buy some stuff we get a little bit of money. HISDERN Plaid Tie And Handkerchief Ok, Fine. Soophen Mens Necktie Sure. ABP Ties For Men: Set Of Two Fuck it.
Mmm Look at This Pie I Baked That None of My Thin Children Are Allowed to Eat
After spending an entire weekend indoors baking and decorating like a madwoman, my Pinterest foodie page is off the frickin’ charts right now. Look at this pie. Look at it. When it comes to pretty food, I am Michelangelo. But just as you do not touch the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, none of my […]
Beautiful Places In The World To Wake Up On Purpose This Time
People say it’s not about the destination but the journey to get there—but I say as long as you made it there in one piece, who cares how it happened.
Return To The Pagan Roots Of Easter By Shooting Eggs Out Your Vag
And the eggs are hard boiled, so brunch is served!
How To Kimchi That Body In Your Backyard
Love kimchi? Need to dispose of a body? Well you’re in luck!
My Morning Routine: Pilates And An Orgasm From A Stranger
It’s a simple thing, but I think it is worth it.
Buy All The Baggy Pants You’ll Need In 20 Years In Bulk Now
Fashion is cyclical. What used to be popular decades ago will be popular again. (Get ready for powdered wigs and not showering!) That’s why it’s crucial that you buy all the baggy pants you’ll need in 20 years in bulk now so you’re ready when they become popular again. Don’t think baggy pants could ever […]
My New Year’s Resolution Is To Shove My Son Back Up In There
I gave birth to him, and I can un-give it.
Forget Guilt-Free Snacking: Here Are The “Conflict Diamonds” Of Snack Foods
Many food companies will try to promise you “guilt-free” snacking with “healthy” snack alternatives but let’s get real here: there is no guiltless snacking. When Eve took that bite of the apple back in Bible times, God’s wrath descended upon humans and decreed “Thou shalt not snack unless you feel immediate regret. I mean good […]
I Will Passionately Defend My Middle School Whispstache
Hello, concerned adults and classmates! I’m a man now. I’m sorry you feel so threatened by this that you need to pretend your problem is with my beautiful lip fringe. Being a man means I can wear the same underwear for two weeks, shout horrible slurs playing PUBG, and start rumors about Anya using special-order jumbo […]
The Quest For The Crystal! An Interactive Wellness Adventure
Oh boy, I hope I get to lick a doorknob!
Oh, I’ll Tell You How To Make These Vegan Sugar Cookies, But First You’ll Have To Read My Ridiculously Long Sugar Cookie Journey
Hey guys, I’m so glad that you came to check out my fave sugar cookie recipe! I know you probably just want to scroll down to the ingredients and get the recipe, but I’m going to make that as difficult for you as possible. Some might say I’m holding the recipe hostage. But instead of […]
Relationship Tips: A Handsy Guide To Touching The Butt
We as a society place a lot of restrictions on ourselves when it comes to relationships. But I’m here to let you know it’s OK to be spontaneous. Happy, even! As long as your sexual proclivities are between two (or more) consenting adults you can just feel free to go right on and let your […]
These Prenatal Potatoes Pause Your Postpartum Depression
Both prenatal and postnatal self-care are vital when it comes to motherhood. The right foods, supplements, and healthful habits can make all the difference when your little one arrives, and this is perhaps especially true when it comes to avoiding postpartum depression. While there’s no one way to 100% guarantee that postpartum depression won’t happen […]