A Guide To Grieving All The Yoshis You’ve Killed

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If you’ve ever trekked through Super Mario World, you know that sometimes Yoshi—the adorable, ridable dinosaur companion—has to die so you can have a double jump. Sometimes, you need a second jump to clear a pit, sending Yoshi careening to his end at the bottom. Sometimes, you need to reach a key at the top of a level, leaving Yoshi to starve to death. There’s not much time to process what you did, what with princesses to find and Goombas to dodge, so we’ve prepared some tips to help you grieve the deaths of all the Yoshis you’ve killed.

Wallow in Denial

The first stage of grief is denial, and it’s perfectly normal. Just don’t spend too long telling yourself that sometimes Yoshi has wings and maybe your Yoshi was just hiding his under his saddle. The healing process can only begin once you stare the truth in the face: Your Yoshi is dead at the bottom of a pit, and he died in pain.

Feel Your Anger

When someone you love dies, it can feel like it’s only “okay” or “acceptable” to acknowledge the positive feelings you had about them. You can’t speak ill of the dead, right? Wrong. There’s healing in acknowledging all the feelings brought up by the loss. Those times when you tried to jump on Yoshi’s back while he ran back and forth after you got hit by a Koopa Shell were frustrating. Sit in that.

Look at the Big Picture

Yes, Yoshi died at the bottom of a pit, broken and alone, but remind yourself that it was worth it because that second jump propelled you up to a secret exit that opened the Red Switch Palace. Is there any death nobler than one that makes red blocks appear so the last few levels of Star World aren’t, like, totally impossible? We can’t think of any.

Work Past Your Guilt

Of course you feel bad about sending your trusting dinosaur friend to an early grave, but don’t let that guilt keep you from seeing the situation realistically. Yoshi knew you were trying to save the princess, and he was glad to give his life to save her. Presumably. No one ever asked him. But if he wasn’t ready to die for the cause, that means Yoshi didn’t care about saving an abducted woman. What an asshole. Either way, don’t feel guilty.

Remember the Good Times

The positive moments you spent with Yoshi don’t go away just because your relationship ended in tragedy. Let yourself think about the good times you spent together, like when he let you get hit by that Charging Chuck and still keep your cape, or when he ate so many apples that he shat out a cloud that gave you coins. When the cold grip of regret overtakes you, let these memories keep you warm.

Images: Pixabay, BC-GB/Nintendo


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Michael McCollor: Michael McCollor is a writer and comedian who's written for 22 Words and Smosh. He talks about video games on the podcast Video Games: A Comedy Show and streams video games on Twitch (Check them out here: https://www.twitch.tv/michaelmccollor.
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