2018’s hottest Trend: The Year 1623
Moustaches? Vegans? Those weird penny-farthing bicycles? Are these some of the images that pop into your mind when you think of a “hipster”? In the past you may have been…
Lifestyle Tips I Learned From the Cadavers on Bones
Television inevitably influences the fashion sense of its viewers (raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimized by "the Rachel"), though you may not think a series like Bones, focusing…
The Pro Wrestling Guide To Florida: America’s Limp Dong
It's the literally the worst place!
7 Fragrances That Will Remind You Grandma’s Gone Forever
These refined, often floral perfumes are timeless classics. They will make you feel sophisticated and chic and also remind you that grandma is dead forever. Scent is the strongest sense…
This Summer’s Hottest Books You Could Read Instead of Harry Potter Again But Probably Not
Are you a Hogwarts fan? Are you sick of being antagonized by people telling you to “read another book”? Is your life and family in danger of financial ruin because…
The Trendiest Places To Find Dead Mobsters in New Jersey
As a resident of the great state of New Jersey, I’m often asked, “Is New Jersey as bad as everyone says it is?” And good news: There’s plenty of cool…
Reduce Your Carbon Footprint By Trading In Your Lamborghini For A Palanquin
Listen, we know how important it is to drive around in a car worth more than the Gross National Product of most developing nations, covered in enough coats of wax…
5 Endangered Species That I Could Totally Take In A Fight
I'm coming for you, Snowy Owl.
How To Be Your Most Authentic Self: From Someone Who Definitely Knows (A 22-Year Old Influencer)
As a woman, yoga influencer, and a Leo (rising), I have collected a very specific and finite bundle of opinions I feel the world needs to hear. I live on…
The Beginner’s Guide To Fostering 2,300 Refugee Children
So, you just adopted 2,300 refugee children who have been recently separated from their families either after their parents crossed the United States's southern border illegally or attempted to legally…
Do I Still Have To Have My Dick Out For Harambe?
Hey, so, this is kind of a weird question, but do I still have to have my dick out for Harambe? I've had it out all this time, but is…
We Held A Gender Reveal Party To Reveal Gender Is A Social Construct But We Still Kept All The Presents
My husband and I decided to throw a gender reveal party to reveal to our unwoke friends and family that gender is just a social construct. At first they were…
Dear Goop, We Have Your Therapist. If You Want Him Back Give Us Your Best Summer Skincare Products
Dear Goop.com: We have your therapist. He is in the Bunny Ears warehouse, breathing and meditating normally. He is healthy and spiritually aligned. We’re guessing you want him to…
Podcast Episode 24 – David Choe, Bourdain Memories, and CulkinChrist (Annotated)
Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! The Guest: Painter/Graffiti artist David Choe. The Lowdown: Cold open! This episode…
Mack Answers Your Dumb Questions: ‘Have You Ever Had A Major Premonition?’
Spoiler: He has. And it was epic.
Snackchat: Eat Healthier By Talking Food Into Being Less Fatty
Unhealthy food understands it’s our prey, so it releases toxic sugars and fats into our bodies as a self-defense mechanism when we eat. But it doesn’t have to be this…
How To Navigate Your First Date To the Bedroom By Bringing Up Your Dead Friend
First dates are hard to navigate. When you step out of your uber into the unknown of a first date, your greatest hope is the chemistry will be electric and things heat up,…
Podcast Minisode – Father’s Day
Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! They say it's Father's Day, but it should be called GreatSoFar-ther's Day.…
Are You Really A Psychic Medium? Find Out Right Now!
Most Americans are boring, ordinary muggles with a tragic inability to do anything cool like talk to dead people, move things with their mind, or recognize how funny I am…
I Used A Babypod And Now My Baby Looks Just Like The Lead Singer Of Smash Mouth And It’s Definitely Because Of The Babypod And For No Other Reason
Dear Babypod, I would like to file a complaint about your product. When I first heard about your speaker, which I could easily insert into my vagina and use to…
Contour Your Cat’s Nipples So They’re Less Disgusting
Regardless of their sex, your cat can have anywhere from 4 to 10 nipples, because God hates cat owners and wants to punish us. They're horrifying, and they love showing…
Lavish Vacation Spots To Visit When You’re On The Run From The Securities and Exchange Commission
When you’re on the run from the Securities and Exchange Commission after orchestrating a massive fraudulent initial coin offering of your cryptocurrency, Skankcoin, you’re not going to hide out in…
Extremely Local Eating: Steal From Your Neighbor’s Garden
Eating locally is an important way to make sure everyone knows you care about the environment and also don’t need to eat cheap Mexican fruit. Of course, the best way…
Get Fit By Being Constantly On the Run From Your Future Self
For some people, health scares, tragedies, or life-changing experiences are the last straw before we take the initiative to better our personal health. However, the rest of us all know…
I Lived Off Food Stamps For A Week And Now I’m Spearheading A Communist Revolution
Did you know that an estimated 42.6 million Americans are on food stamps? That’s crazy, right? We often ignore the struggles of this significant segment of American society, so I…
Podcast Episode 23: Tribute To The Great Hellmutt 2007-2018
Hi, There will be no annotations for this episode of the Bunny Ears Podcast. Instead I would like to say a few words about Hellmutt, the world's best dog. I…
How To Use Blackmail To Secure Your Toddler’s Spot In A Prestigious Private Preschool
For better or worse, a college degree is no longer enough to ensure your child’s success. When 300 other job applicants all have the same Computer Engineering degrees, only your…
How To Feng Shui Your Panic Room
The spiritual flow of your house is one of the most important factors in achieving a zen-like state of personal equilibrium wherein you will permanently be better than all of…
I Thought I Was Detoxing But It Was Actually Sepsis
I haven’t exactly been feeling my best lately - low energy, dull skin tone, regular menstruation, etc. All the signs that a good old-fashioned cleanse was in order. To celebrate,…
Bungee Cord Bikinis Anyone Can Wear, Whether You’re An Instagram Model Or A Nissan Cube
To end stressful and frustrating swimsuit shopping this year, we have narrowed down your options to the most stylish swimsuit on the market, the bungee cord bikini. From curvier frames to athletic body…
Podcast Minisode – World Oceans Day (Annotated)
Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! Swimmingly, even. The Lowdown: Yo dawg, it's World Oceans Day! So it's…
What Is This? Is This Blood? Whose Blood Is This?
Guys. Stop everything. There's blood on the floor. I'm pretty sure this is blood. The Bunny Ears LA office has blood in it right now. Everybody stop meditating and ear candling!…
This Isn’t A Sponsored Article Touting The Benefits of Wellman’s Unfiltered Stillwater Algae Night Cream
I used to be so disappointed when I saw myself in the mirror first thing in the morning. Did time, stress, sleeplessness, parenthood, and all of those speedballs I did…
Dog Yoga + Human Butt Sniffing: Bonding With Man’s Best Friend
You think about your dog. Of course you do. Their cute little button nose. Their thin yet powerful haunches. But do you actually think about your dog? No one else…
The Ultimate Green Diet: Eat Your Waste For A Slimmer Waist!
As the resident environmentalist at Bunny Ears, it should be no surprise to anyone that I’m absolutely disgusted by everyone and everything. From the wasteful scourge that loves to punish…
A Few Ways To Break-Up With Someone Who Won’t Take No For An Answer
They say breaking up is hard to do, but it’s immensely harder if your significant other won’t allow it. You say “We’re over,” they say “Sushi for dinner?” You say,…
Podcast Episode 22: Shawn “DeBosse” DePasquale (Annotated)
Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! Do you ever wonder why stuff is so great here? Or how…
This Low-Cal Almond Butter Is So Addictive I’ll Blow You For It!
Where do you wanna do this?
Heeeeeeyyyyy, Gurrrlll!! Wanna Be A #BossBabe Like Me?
Heyyyyy Gurrrllll !!! <3 <3 :D :D I know we haven’t talked in a hot minute (since like high school, right? CRAZY!). Anyway, how are you? I’m just #bossbabe-ing it…
A More Modern Memento: Going HAM Online With Short Term Memory Loss!
What site is this? The blue header ... It looks like Facebook. Wait … Doesn't Twitter sometimes have a blue header? My God, what if I've taken a left turn…
Unconscious Uncoupling: Your Guide To A Pain-Free, One-Sided, Secret Divorce
Much has been made of Bunny Ears hero Gwyneth Paltrow’s decision to “consciously uncouple” from ex-husband Chris Martin, a process that entails mindfully and sensitively detaching from your spouse. That…
How To Cook The Perfect Salmon Depending On Your Zodiac Sign
The Zodiac guides us through challenges in life. The stars are as wise as they are numerous, and strongly advise which recipes you should use to prepare salmon! Aries (Mar…