I’m a ’90s kid, so you would think getting magically transported into a video game world would be something I’ve dreamed of my whole life, and you would be absolutely right. I don’t want to seem ungrateful. Don’t get me wrong. This is truly the most incredible experience I have ever had in my life. Still …
One Day My Dream Came True … Sort Of
I would like to say that I somehow already knew today would be special, but that was not the case. Nothing particularly stood out. I went to work, tried not to go crazy, and then went home to play some video games and drink boxed wine. At some point, I wound up knocking over my color-changing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles collectible cup full of wine all over my XBox. That’s when things got weird.
I suddenly found myself in a lush, grassy plain dotted with trees and small dirt paths. Fresh blue water lapped shores of small lakes, and I could spot sandy deserts in the distance. “Oh, my god,” I realized, “I am in a video game world. Looks like some sort of Zelda game. Am I gonna be beating up some slimes or goblins soon?” Strangely, I didn’t feel any more powerful or like I had any special powers. “Well, duh, I’ve gotta level up first,” I reassured myself.
Then an announcer voice boomed overhead. “E.G.A. SPORTS IN ASSOCIATION WITH THE P.G.A. TOUR PROUDLY PRESENTS THE SEASONAL RACE FOR THE FEDEX CUP!” I noticed I was surrounded by eerily silent people eagerly staring at me. I looked down and realized I wearing a cardigan and khakis, and my caddie was impatiently asking me to select my driving club.
Again, I don’t want to sound bitter or unappreciative. In some roundabout way, this is sort of what I always wanted. It’s just that I don’t even own this game. Oh, well. The weather is nice, at least. There are definitely worse places I could be, like Superman 64. I select a 3-wood club. I guess it’s now or never.
Images: Electronic Arts