After months of begging, your parents finally caved and got you the hamster of your dreams. And you were living the life until you came home one day and your parents informed you that Skittles ran away. Well, we did some investigative reporting and found out the places your hamster most likely ended up!
It Became a Commercial Actor (Union!)
You always knew that your hamster was just a little different than all the others. Whenever you took a picture of your little guy on your Motorola Chocolate flip phone, your hamster would quite literally strike a pose. That’s why it’s no shock that your hamster ended up being a national star in those Kia Soul commercials!
It Had a Secret Second Family
You’d heard of hamsters living double lives. You just never thought it would happen to you. It turns out your little rodent companion was double-dipping with another household down the street. One day he went out for cigarettes and never came back. We can only hope that his second family appreciates him as much as you did.
It Joined a Cover Band
Whenever your hamster would bang on its cage, it always sounded a little … familiar. So you likely won’t be surprised when we tell you that your hamster ran away to join the cover band Red Hot Chili Hamsters!
He’s a Hamster Vigilante
Looks like your little furry friend had enough of this crime-ridden town and decided to take matters into his own hands. After seeing the movie G-Force one too many times, he knew he wasn’t the hamster our city deserved, but he was the hamster our city needed.
He’s Dead
I don’t want to be the one to tell you this, but your hamster died. Your parents are fucking liars.
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