Sex can be fun, but what about funny? For every good time between the sheets, there’s bound to be an awkward moment or two worth laughing at. We thought it would be fun to reach out to some of our favorite stars, to see what kind of wacky mishaps they’ve had in the bedroom, and, man, were they pissed about it.
ERIC STONESTREET, MODERN FAMILY
“Who asks something like this? Seriously, don’t use my name. Don’t use my picture. Don’t ever email me again.”
VENUS WILLIAMS, TENNIS STAR
“I’ve been staring at my computer screen for twenty minutes, shaking with rage, just trying to think of the words to say. What is wrong with you people? How would you like it if I emailed you asking about your sex life? No, not even that, how would you like it if I asked how bad you are at sex?”
WILL GREENBERG, WRECKED
BILL WALTON, SPORTS COMMENTATOR
“Here’s a story you might like. This one time I emailed a stranger, asking a bunch of sick, depraved bullshit. Then I killed myself. Sound familiar?”
DEVON SAWA, IDLE HANDS
ANGELA LANSBURY, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
“Well, glad to know this might be the last thing I read before the grave. Here’s a tale as old as time for ya, you will die alone. And soon.”
ROB LOWE, CODE BLACK
“My wife just read this and now she’s leaving me.”
MANDY PATINKIN, HOMELAND
“Fuck you you fucking piece of shit! I’ll fucking kill you! You hear me! I know people and they will do things to you that will make you wish your ancestors were never born. Sleep with one eye open, motherfucker!”
EVA LONGORIA, DOG DAYS
“Oh, I’m not actually that Eva Longoria. This happens all the time. I’m just a podiatrist’s assistant in Des Moines. Actually, if you know the real Eva Longoria, could you let her know I’m somehow connected to her DirectTV account, and no matter how many times I tell them, they won’t take my email off of it. I’m not trying to be a nag, but my husband Arthur just got laid off, and with his cystic fibrosis and my rheumatoid arthritis, well, times have been tough, and I just don’t have the energy to constantly fend off some multinational conglomerate hellbent on getting me to pay for the Starz channel. I’m sure she’ll get around to paying her bills at some point. Things happen, and I haven’t seen her on the TV for awhile, so who knows. Anyway, God bless.”
BELLA THORNE, ASSASSINATION NATION
“If you want to buy my sex stories, you have to pay for them just like everybody else. With Bitcoin.”
MACAULAY CULKIN, LAYABOUT
PITBULL, RAPPER
“Mainly butt stuff.”
IMAGES: Dominick D, Tatiana, JayZWelling, Drama League, David Shankbone, Richard Sandoval, Mingle Media TV, Eva Rinaldi Sue us, Sawa
View Comments (1)
Brian Steele is a hot name, but it would be better with a Y, so I’m just gonna call you Bryan Steele. See? Even better!
But yeah, the article was good too.