Non-Phallic Sex Toys For When You Wanna Get Plowed By A Muppet
We can approximate Muppet genitals based on their design with the following colorful sex toys clearly designed to simulate Muppintercourse.
Love Yourself So Much It’s Inappropriate In Public
Love yourself like you recently met yourself, have been dating successfully for a month and have been banging yourself nonstop.
This New Form of OxyContin is Truly Better Than Sex
As busy mom and business owner, I often need a pick me up throughout the day. Most of the time, this comes in the form of the pearl-infused matcha latte at the corner shop, but some days, the creamy green goodness just isn’t working. Thankfully, around three months ago, I found a vice that really […]
What’s Sex With A Man Like? Our Writers Want To Know
We’ve heard about it in rap songs and on pamphlets, and we know it must at least be as great as McDonald’s because those are the two things they miss most on Orange Is the New Black. But what’s it really like?
10 Futhark Runes That Will Totally Make You Cum
For your next romantic evening in, why not try one (or all!) of the following runes, hand-selected by Church elders, to get those juices flowing?
4 Steamy Sex Tips for Spicing Up the Bedroom
Are you and your partner missing that spark? Has the once fiery passion that burned between you like a throbbing Adonis somehow dulled into the cool flaccidity of Meatloaf’s neck flap? Even if you were forced to bring great shame to your house by answering “yes” to the previous questions, don’t despair! There is hope […]
The Feng Shui Sutra: Rearranging Furniture To Enhance Your Sex Life
We get it. Rearranging your heavy furniture just to change things up isn’t enticing enough to waste a weekend afternoon. But what if we told you there was a way to arrange your couch, side tables, and even that bowl of potpourri in a way that will harmonize your home with the erotic frequencies of […]
My Morning Routine: Pilates And An Orgasm From A Stranger
It’s a simple thing, but I think it is worth it.
You Can Have My Safe Word BUT FIRST LET’S DISCUSS CASPER MATTRESS
This is a story of a sweet, innocent young woman letting go, embracing her kinky side, and learning to reconcile those two facets of her personality. I was a sexually inexperienced grad student when I first met “Dan,” an interior designer whose taste in decor was pretty standard, but whose sexual proclivities were anything but […]
We Asked Celebrities For Their Embarrassing Sex Stories…
… And You Won’t Believe How Offended They Were!
Winter Project: How To Gussy Up Your Favorite Glory Hole!
Is the hole in the wall of a public bathroom through which you do unspeakable things starting to look a bit rundown? Then you need an extreme glory hole makeover, buddy.
The Perfect Sex Positions Based On Your Socio-Economic Level
What do sex and socio-economics have in common? A lot more than you think, my fine mammalian friend. See it turns out (as proven by many VERY very good academic studies! Just trust me!) that human beings bang best when fulfilling their own economic role in the bedroom. Fear not though, for we’ve curated a […]
What ‘Back To The Future’ Gets Wrong About Almost Having Sex With Your Mom
Like she’ll DEFINITELY remember your face.
Save Your Marriage After You Wrecked It Following Our Marriage Advice
It’s not okay to go on vacation and have an affair. We should have known that. That’s on us. But also, you should have known not to take that advice, so that’s on you, too.
Spice Up Your Open Relationship By Competing To Screw The Most Neighbors!
Modern love is a strange, exhausting experience.
Hogwarts Sex: Where You’ll Get It On, According To The Zodiac
Don’t tell us you’ve never thought about it.
When To Tell Your Kids That Santa Died From Autoerotic Asphyxiation
It’s something every parent wonders.
All The Non-Mutant Superheroes Trying To Get On That ‘Freaky, Sexy Island’
Krakoa is getting REALLY popular.
Quiz: Can You Finish Jerking Off In This Airplane Bathroom Before It Crashes Into The Ocean?
How good are you at compartmentalizing?
Fetish Of The Month: Constant, Laborious Dedication To Getting Me Off
It takes both time and commitment to get me anywhere even close to an orgasm.
Yes, You Can Be Intimate With Someone With Scissor Hands. Here’s How
This is something we’ve thought about. A lot.
It’s Time To Teach Your Children The True Meaning Of No Nut November
It’s about family, faith, and unrelenting blue balls.