Our world is so full of wonders. Every day, I think I can’t possibly be surprised, but somehow, the world just knocks the wind out of me with its unimaginable revelation. Yes, as a Dave & Buster’s manager, I have seen some shit. Like, literal shit, right next to the Jurassic World V.R. machine, for some inexplicable reason. You know how people are always getting stabbed at Chuck E. Cheese’s? Well, take that place, add some $14 cocktails and a death wish, and you’ve got this fine establishment. Come with me as I take you on a majestic journey to all of the unbelievable places people have barfed in this Dave & Buster’s.
Inside The Luigi’s Mansion Game Cabinet
We had it open for repairs, the technician stepped away for 10 seconds to break up two toddlers wrestling over a chicken wing, and bam. Luigi’s Mansion is now haunted by the ghost of what appears to be our avocado toast with Mexican street corn.
On The Wheel Of Fortune
This guy ended up being about as unfortunate as you can possibly be. You know, I have to say, this one did give me a new appreciation for physics. You can’t truly understand centrifugal force until you’ve seen it ruin half an arcade and make several adults cry.
On The Roof
Our heater broke down the other day, and the repair man was like “Do you know that someone puked on your roof?” How could I possibly know that? How did they even get up there? Those fucking animals. The access latter is outside. It’s winter. Someone climbed two stories to puke on our roof.
On A Baby
Honestly, I didn’t mind this one so much because it was pretty funny and also legally not my problem. I don’t care where you puke as long as I don’t have to clean it up. I’ve seen plenty of real ladies knock back six or seven Frose’s and do a technicolor yawn right into their purse. Fine. Cool. As long as you take it with you when you leave.
Underneath My Desk
This one felt deliberate. How did they even get into my office? My door is always locked. The key is always on my belt. Did they pick the lock? We keep money in here. There’s a safe, for Christ’s sake.
In The Safe
Oh, god, it’s in the safe. How did … they must have had to unlock the safe. That takes a long time. Why would someone do this? We have a bathroom. It’s there for you to puke in! It’s closer to the bar and would take half the time and effort to access. They didn’t even take any money.
In My Car
Technically, this isn’t inside the Dave & Buster’s, but I felt like it was worth noting. How did they get the keys to my car? How did they even know what car I was driving? What has my life become? What did I do to deserve this? Was I a warlord in a past life? Can I ever escape this hell? This is truly unbelievable.
Images: Dave And Buster’s, Pixabay, Pixabay, Pixabay
View Comments (1)
There are too many lights and sounds to be that close to alcohol. The car counts.