Your nails should make a statement. Regular manicures aren’t just a necessary part of self-care, but also vital for sending the right message to whoever the a-hole of the day is. Could you imagine if you flipped the bird to your neighbor who never holds the door open for you with chipped nails, or gasp, even worse, unpainted ones? Follow this guide to know what polishes you should be sporting based on who you’re flipping off today.
1. The Dick In The Maserati Who Thinks Stop Signs Don’t Apply To Him
Robbie by Zoya. This raspberry shade with flecks of gold will glisten even more than the dick-compensating red of his sports car.
2. The Starbucks Barista Who Keeps Spelling Your Name Wrong, Likely On Purpose
Can’t be Camouflaged by O.P.I. You see this man every single day and yet he refuses to learn. Why, sir? Why? You know for a fact he learns other people’s! Well this bright, sparkly green will leave its mark as you grab your latte with your left hand and flip him the bird with your right.
3. The Manicurist Who Asked If You Want A Lip Wax
Do You Sea What I Sea by O.P.I. This shimmering ocean blue hue will really show off your manicurist’s work when you flip it right back in her face. THANK YOU for bringing that to my attention, Jane.
4. The Guy From Bumble Whose Profile Made It Seem Like He Has A Dog But He Doesn’t
Topless & Bare by Essie. This barely-there, soft beige color is ironically named, because “topless and bare” is something Eric will never see. Your sister’s dog? Really? Don’t act like you didn’t know what you were doing.
5. The Guy At The Movies Who Keeps Repeating The Dialogue
Glitter And Be Gay by Deborah Lippmann. This sparkly polish is visible even in the dark, so he’ll definitely see your butter-covered middle finger as you point it firmly in his direction.
Images: Unsplash, Zoya, O.P.I, O.P.I, Deborah Lippmann
View Comments (1)
Love!
Now I want one of each of those and I have more in mind...