Does He Like You Or Does He Just Need Your Soul For A Spell?

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We’ve all been there. The guy you’re crushin’ on is giving you totally mixed signals. Sometimes you feel like you’re definitely sensing a connection, and other times you’re convinced it’s all in your head. It’s the age-old question: Does he like you, or does he just need your soul to summon Khaos, the ancient Demon of Ruin?

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First and foremost, know you’re absolutely not alone. We’ve all been there at one time or another, and we feel you. Hard. Because sussing out your crush’s inner-most feelings/recognizing a Servant of Khaos is no easy task.

I’m like 30% sure he is just being ironic.

To help make life just a little less confusing, here are five ways to know if he likes you or if he’s just trying to steal your precious life force.

  1. He makes direct eye contact.

Direct eye contact is one of the most basic ways to gauge a guy’s level of interest. Not only does it mean you have his undivided attention, but it’s often a strong indicator of physical attraction.

However, holding eye contact for too long can indicate low emotional intelligence, or—in some cases—the first step in an excruciating ritual designed to rip your soul from its body.  A good way to tell if it’s the whole soul-ripping thing is if he’s often chanting in Aramaic/has a serpent’s tongue.

  1. He looks for excuses to touch you.

Okay, this one’s a BIGGIE. When a guy’s into you, he often can’t help but steal a casual touch. However, there’s also a chance he’s trying to quietly anoint you with sacred oils.

If his hands regularly find their way to the small of your back or arms, he likely has a thing for you. On the flip side, if he often grazes your forehead in the shape of a pentagram, then odds are good the object of your affection is crafting a nefarious spell.

  1. He leans in close when you’re talking.

When someone’s attracted to you, they’ll often try to get as close to you as possible—often without even realizing it. But be careful—close talking is also a necessary part of the incantation process, and generally means Khaos is at least partially Awakened.

  1. He asks about your sexual history.

Often, when a guy likes you, he’ll try to not-so-subtly lead the conversation to sex. It’s not only a classic flirty move, but he may also be trying to subconsciously figure out if you’re compatible in the bedroom.

But FYI, some guys just want to make sure you’re a virgin because Khaos needs the blood of an innocent for his Becoming. Be on guard for questions like, “Have you been with many guys?” or, “Are you ready for the honor of eternal life in death?”

  1. He’s straight up told you, “I need your soul for a spell.”

Sometimes we’re looking so hard for signs that our feelings are reciprocated that we ignore the obvious: In this case, the fact that Khaos, the Demon of Ruin, is using a human man as a vessel to steal your essence and bring forth The Darkness here on earth.

To be fair, he has a great credit score.

Be honest with yourself—has the guy in question told you that’s what he’s about? If so, do yourself a favor and move on. Otherwise, you’ll be wasting your time on someone who doesn’t appreciate you, and also on someone who’s bringing forth the End Times.

Good luck, girl! And remember—you’re worth it!

Image: Pexels


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Toria Sheffield: Toria Sheffield's work has appeared in places like Reductress, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, and The Huffington Post Blog. She's won the Gold Prize for Comedy in the Page International Screenwriting Awards, and once made a web series called "Lawyers in Space" that nobody "got." She lives to make you laugh, and also to eat carbs.

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