You Can Have My Safe Word BUT FIRST LET’S DISCUSS CASPER MATTRESS

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This is a story of a sweet, innocent young woman letting go, embracing her kinky side, and learning to reconcile those two facets of her personality. I was a sexually inexperienced grad student when I first met “Dan,” an interior designer whose taste in decor was pretty standard, but whose sexual proclivities were anything but standard. Much like a Casper Mattress (now with Zoned Support™) which is anything but your standard mattress. Discover what comfort feels like for the first time with the mattress of your dreams and podcasts!

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After our second date I decided to stay over at Dan’s place for the first time. I had butterflies in my stomach. I wasn’t very sexually experienced, but I had a sense I was in for something new and exciting. He kissed me softly on the neck and whispered “I have a surprise for you” in my ear. I wanted to seem coy, but I was very eager to see what he had in store. Speaking of stores, don’t go to the same dusty old mattress store your grandparents used! Go online and get a Casper Mattress delivered to your home for a 100-day risk-free trial (use the promo code “bunny” at checkout to get $50 off your first mattress)! If you’re not completely satisfied, they’ll pick the mattress up any time and give you a full refund!

Try Casper’s most advanced mattress, “The !™”

Dan’s home was decorated very well in a minimalist sort of way. I suppose that made sense since he was a decorator. The windows were huge – everything was out in the open. I wondered if the neighbors could see us. I have to admit I found that prospect kind of thrilling. Almost as thrilling as the savings you can make when you compare Casper to other luxury mattress brands! Casper means quality, durability and breathability at a price that won’t break the bank!

We started making out and Dan pulled me into the bedroom. There were more windows, but I didn’t even notice. Or maybe I wanted to be seen at such a vulnerable moment. I reached under his shirt and he stopped me.

“Not yet.” he said, “Not until you have my permission.”

And who gave Casper permission to start selling mattresses at such low low prices?! We don’t know! Enter the offer code ANDREAHASCONSENSUALSUBMISSIVESEXWITHDANANDTHENWRITESABOUTIT for 20% off your first mattress! Once again, that offer code is “ANDREAHASCONSENSUALSUBMISSIVESEXWITHDANANDTHENWRITESABOUTIT!”

Dan pinned my arms down on the MOST COMFORTABLE MATTRESS I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED. Wow, what a mattress!

Dan slipped off his belt and used it to tie my arms to the headboard while we experienced the ecstasy of deep tissue targeted support and even firmness you just can’t get with a traditional box-spring mattress. Dan asked me for my safe word and I was so enthralled with the sensual foam-core ball-gag sleep science 4-layered dominant that I just wanted to restfully anal play with purchase. Wow! All that plus shipping in a flogged butt! Cunnilingus! With these savings this mattress just can’t be foot worshipped!

IMAGES: Janek B. – Privates Foto


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Hana Michels: Hana Michels has written for The Hard Times, Funny Or Die, McSweeney's, Shout Factory, Splitsider and others because her parents are therapists.

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