Bunny Ears Staff Advice Column: HOBBIES
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Welcome to the third ever Bunny Ears advice column, where Bunny Ears staff submit questions, and other Bunny Ears staff provide answers. Neither party knew who was asking or…
Beautiful Inspirational Quotes That Will Definitely Piss Off The Person You’re Directing Them At
It can be hard to express your true feelings. That’s why inspirational quotes are so great! Why think of something poignant yourself when you could just use Google? When it’s…
Cultures You Can Safely Appropriate Because They Don’t Have Internet
It's hard to not want to dress in the styles of other cultures, especially when you were born into something as boring as white! But romanticizing the aesthetics of a…
Summer Staples We Don’t Recommend You Stick Up Your Butt (This Time)
We're saying 'yes' to summer and 'no more' to your lawsuits!
Dating Tips For Ensuring They Don’t Find Your Box Of Fake Security Badges
The last thing an on-the-market millennial needs is for that new special someone to stumble upon your embarrassing collection of scattered fake security badges and hospital IDs. Cringe!
Why I Planned My Best Friend’s Bachelorette Party in Vegas
As the maid of honor at your best friend’s wedding, your duties vary, but one of the most important ones is planning the bachelorette party. So when Summer asked me…
The New Siri Voice On iOS 13 Is Way Better At Yelling At Your Kids
It sounds so real.
What I Learned Locking Myself Into A KFC Overnight In Protest
We must hold KFC accountable for their crimes against nature and their unlawful abuse against innocent chickens. As part protest part art demonstration, I decided to lock myself inside of…
Spa Treatments Perfect For After Long Days Of Sexual Harassment
Scrub off dead skin cells AND all those disgusting comments you heard today.
BBQ Recipes So Good You’ll Go ”I’m so sorry about slavery.”
Finger licking good. Also, really really sorry about slavery.
I No Longer Believe In Cage-Free Zoos Now That My Family Is Dead
The hyena ambush really sealed the deal.
***—FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE—*** Bunnyears.com Has Parted Ways With Our Resident Fact-Checker
***---FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE---*** Bunnyears.com We at Bunny Ears are announcing the departure of our fact-checker, Thurston Greaydon James Ned Wulfric III, effective immediately. This decision is mutual-ish and we will include…
I Didn’t Vaccinate My Kid Because You Know Who Loves Needles? Junkies
One taste of that needle now, and they'll be hooked for life.
What’s All This Then: Bunny Ears Determines That Free Will Is A Lie
Bunny Ears knows that your quest for spiritual wellness takes many forms. During the day you may just need to know how much flaxseed to add to your oatmeal to…
Tips For Making Your Home Feel Less Like A Place Where People Get Murdered
Inviting a new person into your home can be stressful, especially if you’re planning to murder that person. It’s crucial for your home to say to the world, “Come in,…
Way Too Formal Breakfasts For After Casual Sex
I have always considered myself a sex-positive woman. I have needs, and I'm not afraid to admit it. But that doesn't mean I don't treat my (extremely casual, no strings-attached)…
My Three Days On The Ranch Dressing Cleanse
Heads up, there are some Amazon links in this article that are Amazon Affiliate links. If you click it and buy stuff, we get some money. If you want to…
I Refuse To Wear A Condom Until They Start Making Them Biodegradable
And that’s the only reason.
The Best Jade Eggs For Summoning A Sex Demon
Hey Bunnies! By now most of you are well aware of the virtues of crystal healing — specifically how it can help clear out our negative emotional and physical energies,…
The Apex Diet: Eat Only What Can Eat You!
For as long as I could remember, I've always been a pussy. I vividly recall the days where I'd be standing alongside countless cowards at the nearest grocery store, spending…
Tips For Concealing Your Hideous Conjoined Twin
Because everybody has one. Right?
I Shouldn’t Be Charged For The Hotel Room I Destroyed Doing Rage Yoga
I know I destroyed that hotel room. But you can't persecute me for participating in rage yoga. I will contest this outrageous bill.
These New Twists On Hot Cocoa Might Literally Save Your Life
Fellow spiritual siblings, if you've been on a vision journey over the last 12 months, you may be blissfully preparing for the season of peace and joy. Unfortunately, here on…
Tips For Buying Your Own Tombstone, You Morose S.O.B.
Have fun, we guess?
Our Restaurant’s New Insect Menu Has Nothing To Do With The Recent Fumigation
The two events are purely coincidental.
The Best (And Worst) Governments To Get Mind Controlled By
It’s inescapable. No matter where you go, the government is going to mind control you either through low tech microwaves and chemicals in the water, or with high tech nanobots…
The All Cat Food Diet! (That Definitely Isn’t Just A Symptom of My Severe Toxoplasmosis)
Guys. GUYS. I really need to tell you about this amazing new cat food diet and how it has improved my life. This isn't another one of my fads. This…
What’s Sex With A Man Like? Our Writers Want To Know
We've heard about it in rap songs and on pamphlets, and we know it must at least be as great as McDonald's because those are the two things they miss…
Romantic Getaways For You And Your Twin Brother
Because keeping the spark alive takes work.
Fun First Date Conversations That Are Exclusively Die Hard Quotes
Whip out these Die Hard quotes on your first date and you are sure to be as cool as Mr. McClane himself.
I’ve Been Holding In A Tantric Orgasm For 22 Years. Please Don’t Touch Me
Please don't touch me.
10 Futhark Runes That Will Totally Make You Cum
For your next romantic evening in, why not try one (or all!) of the following runes, hand-selected by Church elders, to get those juices flowing?
Time To Send Your Kids To Summer Camp, But Which Cult Should You Choose?
Summer is the perfect time for your children to engage in holistic learning. However, this can be hard to accomplish at home, especially when you have plans to attend a…
The Beginner’s Guide to Regretting Buying That Turtle
Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide to [Blank], our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. Life is…
How To Get Rid Of That Beach Bod For Fall
We guarantee love handles by Halloween.
Oh No, The Dog With A Blog Pivoted To Video And Is A ‘Breed Realist’ Now
He has some deeply uncomfortable things to say about Anatolian Shepherds on YouTube.
Best Practices: How to Care For Your Servants
Let’s face it – it’s not easy to live adjacent to wealth and status. That’s why it’s important to take the time to make your servants feel appreciated. Now before…
How To Channel The Energy Of The Child Workers And Dead Birds Trapped In Your Healing Crystals
Hello, crystal fans! If you’ve been keeping up with my column, Crystal Chronicles, then by now you’ve heard the bad news: some of our beloved healing crystals are being sourced…
Recipe: The 27 Flavors I Added to This Muffin Mix Until I Could Feel Something
I used to be like you. When I was a child, I could be satisfied with a simple vanilla cupcake. Oh, how wistful I am for those days of carefree…
We Talked To Some Unsuccessful, But Very Spiritual People About Their Work Habits
Do you find it hard to stay motivated in both your professional life and your spiritual one? Don’t despair! We asked some of the most spiritual people we could find…
How To Prepare Your Guest House For When The Boys Are Back In Town
Guess who just got back today?
Foreskin Pants Are The New Boyfriend Jeans
Men probably aren’t going to just hand their foreskin over, like the selfish, unstylish pricks they are.
5 Earthy Amuse-Bouche Ideas for Your Next Dinner Party
Amuse-bouche. Literally, amuse the mouth. It's a requirement for any restaurant worth its salt, and a staple of a good dinner party. Amuse-bouche should be novel, memorable, and above all,…
RepubliZen: Enlightened Republican Quotes From Our Conservative Users
Lifestyle. It's a word that calls to mind helpful communities like ours, lavender-scented miscellany, and older couples who like to swing. Yet, all too often, our favorite web genre sub-designation gets…
4 Steamy Sex Tips for Spicing Up the Bedroom
Are you and your partner missing that spark? Has the once fiery passion that burned between you like a throbbing Adonis somehow dulled into the cool flaccidity of Meatloaf’s neck…