Lizzo Taught Me To Love Myself, Especially My Vagina Dentata

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Rapper, singer, flautist, and body positivity icon Lizzo recently stated, “If you can love me, then you can love yourself.” It’s a powerful statement, and it cuts through centuries of Eurocentric, patriarchal beauty standards. And Lizzo’s message of unapologetic self love taught me to embrace myself and my body. Specifically, my vagina dentata (aka the teeth in my vagina).

I can wholeheartedly say that learning to embrace my sharp, weaponized pussy has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me and my sense of self-worth. I love my three concentric rings of serrated teeth made of a material that can’t be scientifically identified as being “of Earth.” I love that my vagina dentata is self-cleaning, self-lubricating, and self-aware. Now I am, too.

“True love ain’t something you can buy yourself/True love finally happens when you by yourself”  -Lizzo

Before Lizzo’s lessons sunk in, I looked for validation via sex with people that my vagina then devoured. My ivory bear trap ate men’s dicks in an attempt to find love; now my vagina eats their dicks because I already love myself.  Sometimes we all just need an emerging pop icon to remind us of that.

Thank you, Lizzo.

If you liked this, you’ll probably ALSO like Summer’s Hottest Look Is Bleaching Then Tie-Dying Your Butthole and also probably What Your Favorite La Croix Flavor Says About Your Sex Life.

Image: Flickr/Andy Witchger


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Allison Mick: Allison Mick is a comedian and writer who lives in Oakland, CA. She enjoys jaywalking and very little else. Find out more at allison-mick.com.

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