Alexander The Grape Is Back From The Dead, Unlike Your Grandma
Remember all the great times you had at your grandmother’s house? Snacking away on the delicious Alexander the Grape candies she always had, watching Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, not a care in the world? Well, you can never get that back (because Mr. Rogers and your grandma are both long dead), but now you can buy Alexander the Grape and all the other 1908 candies at Walgreens!
The first time you ever had a Mr. Melon candy was that time your dad dropped you off at grandma’s and then left for two weeks. Even though that was years (and several therapists) ago, you can still remember the burst of refreshing watermelon flavor. If you were like me, you were at your grandma’s a lot as a kid. Not a lot of good memories with your parents, but grandma’s house always had those warm summer nights catching lightning bugs—and that backyard pool!
Do you remember that pool? You’d spend hours in there, floating, swimming, diving in, and when you got tired, grandma would bring you some Johnny Appletreats candies to snack on. It was so great, if only those carefree summer days could last forever. Of course, they couldn’t though, especially once grandma got that call from the doctor. Huh, I guess that was the last summer you swam in the pool.
Grandma got moved to that care facility a few weeks after summer ended and always seemed lost in thought when you visited. But she perked up the moment you’d step in, because she knew you were there to spend time with her and that you’d always sneak her in a couple of her favorite candies. This lasted for about a year until she wasn’t able to eat candy anymore. A few months later, you went to the store to get some Cherry Clan (probably grandma’s favorite flavor) only to be told they were no longer being sold.
Years have passed, and your grandma is still dead. Nothing can bring her back, because unlike the deliciously addictive candies of your youth, there’s no nostalgic, capitalist-driven demand to bring back Gram Gram.
Thankfully, the good folks at 1908 have figured out a way to resurrect Alexander the Grape, Johnny Appletreats, Mr. Melon, and the Cherry Clan, and they’re all currently on sale at Walgreens across the nation! You should probably stop at a Walgreens on your way home from your soul crushing job and see if eating a few of them helps relieve some of the burden of adulthood, even if just for a moment. Your grandma would probably want you to if she were still with us.