Everyone’s Returning For ‘Crisis On Infinite Earths’—Even Your Dad

October 7, 2019 by , featured in Comic Books, TV and Movies
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If you’re a fan of the CW’s DC Universe, you know that so many people will be returning for Crisis on Infinite Earths. The event will include characters like Arrow, The Flash, and Supergirl, and we’ll even see the return of Smallville‘s Tom Welling (as well as OG Robin, Burt Ward!). But undoubtedly the most shocking inclusion of all has to be your dad, Gene. Yep. Your 63-year-old lactose intolerant father will reportedly be there too for some reason.

How did he get the role? Why didn’t he mention it sooner? This decision raises far more questions than answers considering he’s never acted in his life nor even shown any interest in it. In fact, he never told you this, but he was deeply disappointed when you became a theater major in college because he was secretly hoping you’d be a certified CPA, just like him. Yet, somehow, your old man has been conscripted in the fight against multi-dimensional menace, the Anti-Monitor.

“I don’t really like crowds, so I wasn’t interested in being a part of this at first,” your father reportedly said. “But I changed my tune once I found out they’d fly me out to film in Vancouver. I’ve never been to Canada, and I’ve always wanted to try a Tim Hortons donut.”

Apparently, your dad won’t have any special super powers; he’s just going to, like, play himself? And just, like, be there? We’re honestly just as confused as you are on this one. However, the producers of Crisis on Infinite Earths insist he was a great addition and say fans of your dad will be “thrilled” with the finished product.

And your dad’s not the only surprise cameo. Krypto the Superdog will be there, and he’ll be played by none other than Cashew, the beloved childhood Beagle who your mom said went to go “live on a farm.” Turns out he’s not dead (at least not anymore, somehow) and he’ll be joining the battle, too. In addition, all of your ex-lovers will show up and take turns, one after the other, looking directly into the camera and forgiving you.

Crisis on Infinite Earths (airing throughout December and January) truly promises to have everything.

Images: Unsplash, The CW

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