Need Extra Cash? Make Pro Wrestling Your Side Hustle – By Big Boss Man

From the Wrabbit Wrestling Archive – September, 1999

Ever since I was a little kid, I wanted to do one thing and one thing only, and that was to become a bona fide correctional officer. But even in Cobb County, Georgia, where the cost of living is pretty low, my chosen career didn’t pay enough to cover the bills. Which is why I decided to moonlight with the World Wrestling Federation. And I gotta say, if you want a side gig, start working on your side slams, because wrestling is as good as it gets when it comes to earning supplemental income. You get to travel, meet (and beat) all sorts of interesting people, and the drug policy is alarmingly lax. And I’m certainly not the only career man doing it.

My coworker Bob “Spark Plug” Holly works as a mechanic by day (and races cars sometimes, too!). He likes his job a lot. It’s relatively stress-free and you get to listen to talk radio. But his salary took a big hit when a couple competitors moved to town, so he found his way to the ring. And while he almost always loses to much bigger stars in an especially brutal fashion, he doesn’t mind jobbing because, hey, it’s still a job.

Duke “The Dumpster” Droese is a garbage man (or, sorry, “sanitation worker”). He’s a great guy, and he often throws fights against “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase so he gets that hundred dollar bill shoved down his throat. He doesn’t like being put to sleep, but appreciates having some extra cash around the holidays.

Speaking of Ted, he doesn’t actually need to wrestle for money, but he chooses to do it just for fun. He’s a great guy to network with and sometimes I see the other wrestlers slipping him résumés in the middle of matches. It just goes to show how diverse wrestlers can be.

So if you’re in need of some extra dough and aren’t afraid of violence or a potential lifelong dependency on prescription-strength painkillers, pro wrestling may be for you. Seriously, whether you’re a teacher, a clown, a hockey player, a cheerleader, an aging male gigolo, a funeral parlor operator, a CPA, or Mr. T, there’s a place for you here. But as they say, don’t quit your day job. Because wrestling still doesn’t offer health insurance.