Cat Breeds To Adopt If Your Landlord Doesn’t Allow Good Pets, Like A Dog

September 11, 2019 by , featured in Lifestyle
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In the pantheon of pets, there are dogs, there are things like geckos you have instead of a personality, and then, I guess, if there have to be, there are cats. Cats aren’t terrible. I mean, they’re better than having a pet used condom, right? So if you need an animal to grunt at you when you get home, but your landlord won’t allow dogs, here are the best cat breeds, even though none of them are really that great.

Brown Cats

cat breeds

Brown cats are usually sort of okay. If you get a big one, you can kind of squint at their short fur and pretend it’s actually a cool brown dog. I guess they have breeds or whatever, but basically, just go to a shelter and ask for a brown one. They’ll know what you mean. You won’t get to have fun with your brown cat, because cats hate fun, but it will be less annoying than some other cats.

Black Cats

cat breeds

The best thing about black cats is that you can’t see them at night, which means you can imagine you have a dog 50% of the time! That’s about as close as a cat gets to compromise, so enjoy it. Your black cat will definitely shed hair on everything, but all in all, for a cat, it’s almost okay.

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Orange Cats

cat breeds

Orange cats are nearly cool because they sort of look like Hobbes from Calvin and Hobbes, which, wait … Hobbes was a tiger, so he was a cat?! That’s ridiculous. He totally acted like a dog. He did dog things like riding on sleds and having crushes on girls. Plus, as science has found, cats are devoid of all positive emotions. Fine, okay, orange cats, you slip in under the radar, but only because of Hobbes. That’s a lot to live up to, and you probably won’t.

An Anime Cat Girl

If you have to have a cat, at least have one that sparks conversation about animal-human hybrids. And anime cat girls are more common than you’d think. Some people find them sexy for reasons we don’t understand, and they are possibly capable of jobs, so they could potentially contribute to household expenses. They’re hard to find in shelters, but they also probably won’t try to suffocate you in your sleep.

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A Dog That Meows

cat breeds

Obviously, we’re not giving the top spot on this list of cat breeds to a dumb CAT. Humans are trained from infancy to believe that if a thing meows, it’s a cat. Thousands of baby books and songs back this up. Thus, if you can get your dog to meow, your landlord has no grounds to call it a dog. You may never trust it, because your instincts will tell you that it’s a cat, but just toss it a ball to double check. If it does anything besides sneer in holier-than-thou indifference, it’s definitely a dog.

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8 Comments

  1. I take it the author was making an attempt to be funny. That effort was even half way successful. Indeed, it is absolutely a LAME attempt at humor

  2. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. It’s not even intelligent or even remotely close to funny. And not just because the author is hating on cats, but because you wouldn’t be able to rubd the amount of brain cells together that it took to write this garbage. What s friggin idiot.

  3. You gotta appreciate Free Speech. We may not agree with the way it is presented, but… I love both cats and dogs. My cat loves to have fun, will do tricks, just like a dog! The main difference is cats are more particular about the people they like(did I hit a nerve with you?) Dogs like everyone, even their abusers! Cats either run away, or wait for them to go to sleep!

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