Cat Breeds To Adopt If Your Landlord Doesn’t Allow Good Pets, Like A Dog
In the pantheon of pets, there are dogs, there are things like geckos you have instead of a personality, and then, I guess, if there have to be, there are cats. Cats aren’t terrible. I mean, they’re better than having a pet used condom, right? So if you need an animal to grunt at you when you get home, but your landlord won’t allow dogs, here are the best cat breeds, even though none of them are really that great.
Brown cats are usually sort of okay. If you get a big one, you can kind of squint at their short fur and pretend it’s actually a cool brown dog. I guess they have breeds or whatever, but basically, just go to a shelter and ask for a brown one. They’ll know what you mean. You won’t get to have fun with your brown cat, because cats hate fun, but it will be less annoying than some other cats.
The best thing about black cats is that you can’t see them at night, which means you can imagine you have a dog 50% of the time! That’s about as close as a cat gets to compromise, so enjoy it. Your black cat will definitely shed hair on everything, but all in all, for a cat, it’s almost okay.
Orange cats are nearly cool because they sort of look like Hobbes from Calvin and Hobbes, which, wait … Hobbes was a tiger, so he was a cat?! That’s ridiculous. He totally acted like a dog. He did dog things like riding on sleds and having crushes on girls. Plus, as science has found, cats are devoid of all positive emotions. Fine, okay, orange cats, you slip in under the radar, but only because of Hobbes. That’s a lot to live up to, and you probably won’t.
An Anime Cat Girl
If you have to have a cat, at least have one that sparks conversation about animal-human hybrids. And anime cat girls are more common than you’d think. Some people find them sexy for reasons we don’t understand, and they are possibly capable of jobs, so they could potentially contribute to household expenses. They’re hard to find in shelters, but they also probably won’t try to suffocate you in your sleep.
A Dog That Meows
Obviously, we’re not giving the top spot on this list of cat breeds to a dumb CAT. Humans are trained from infancy to believe that if a thing meows, it’s a cat. Thousands of baby books and songs back this up. Thus, if you can get your dog to meow, your landlord has no grounds to call it a dog. You may never trust it, because your instincts will tell you that it’s a cat, but just toss it a ball to double check. If it does anything besides sneer in holier-than-thou indifference, it’s definitely a dog.