An Insider’s Guide To Shoes

March 16, 2018 by , featured in Lifestyle
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People often tell me, “Wow, those are interesting shoes.” Friends, strangers, Dr. Linda, family members, guidance counselors – they’re always talking about my shoes. I’m the shoe guy! I never dreamed I could become an expert, but Dr. Linda is encouraging me to be nicer to myself, and “stand in my truth,” so here I am, sharing my knowledge with an insider’s guide to shoes!

With so many different kinds of shoes, it’s hard to know which to choose for every occasion. You wouldn’t want to wear rain boots to the beach, right?! Dr. Linda would call that, “an episode.” Picking the right shoe can simplify your life and enable you to be your best self. If it happened for “the shoe guy,” it can happen to you too.

Everyday Leisure Shoes

guide to shoes

This is the pair that you wear on the reg; when you’re chilling, going to the movies, on a stroll around the park, doing your worksheets for Dr. Linda, meeting friends for a coffee, or anything leisurely. People might say, “Hey, where did you get those, jail?” or “Did those used to be blue?” but they’re just yanking your chain. Of course you didn’t go to jail. Being detained for 20 minutes doesn’t mean you went to jail. Leisure shoes like this are actually pretty nice! They’re often a gift from your dad and very special to you. You might have your everyday leisure shoes for over seven years, but since they’re just casual walking around shoes, you can keep them for as long as you went, even if they’re starting to fray a little bit. The fray adds a hip twang to your wardrobe. These are great shoes, right?

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Athletic Runners

guide to shoes

These are the shoes that you’ll wear when you’re getting shredded at the gym, when Dr. Linda invites you to play softball with her partner and their son, or you’re going on a long jog. They’re your go-to work out shoes. It doesn’t matter which color these shoes are because they have a distinct purpose. They’re just for you! If people stop and ask, “Where did you buy those?” it just means they’re curious and probably want to buy some for themselves. It definitely doesn’t mean they’re judging you. Practice positive thought practices! If your mom says, “Those colors don’t usually go together,” she’s just speaking from the perspective of a different generation, so you don’t need to listen. I’ve definitely seen purple and red together. They are complimentary and don’t look weird with other colors. Sometimes people say things out of jealousy. You have to know that your shoes are worth it. Your shoes are enough.

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Formal Shoes

guide to shoes

People might tell you otherwise, but take it from an insider: you only need one pair of shoes for formal occasions. More than that is just excessive. It’s not the 1800s anymore, so you can wear brown with black and all kinds of other colors together. It’s really not a big deal. One pair of formal shoes will be just fine because you don’t even get invited to that many weddings. I haven’t been invited to a wedding yet and Dr. Linda said that’s totally normal. When people choose to not invite you to their wedding, it’s not about you, and you can’t be mad at them. They have the right to not invite you, and you need to just try harder to love yourself, because if you don’t love yourself, you can’t expect anyone else to. People also might say these shoes look like boats, but that’s just a joke and it’s won’t help if you storm out of the Denny’s crying. Dr. Linda can’t help someone who isn’t at least willing to work on their coping mechanisms.

There you have it! Your complete guide to shoes. I’m learning to like feedback, so please leave a shoe-related comment below, and tell me about your favorite shoes.

Images: Jason Shapiro’s Personal Collection


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