Tad and Brita Carlson have always loved to put on a show. The brother-sister creative team from Burbank, California has gone from puerile backyard productions of Equus to some of the most elaborate flash mobs of the 21st century. In 2017, Tad and Brita produced a promposal flash mob which involved over 300 extras, two petting zoos, a Tesla coil, and 4D fireworks. The performance took two weeks to choreograph. It is, as they’ve learned, very difficult to teach sheep to hit their marks.
Luckily, their hard work paid off. The video went viral, and after a cycle of morning talk show appearances, the Carlsons dove headfirst right back into the mobbing game with a new sense of confidence. Knowing now that the sky was the limit, they set their goals high. Their next stop: the Royal Wedding.
The Carlsons grew up attending the same performing arts summer camp as Meghan Markle, so when a call for wedding entertainment was posted on Buckingham Palace’s official Facebook page, it seemed like a no-brainier.
“We figured it was worth a shot,” Tad told Bunny Ears. “The scene we did from ‘Night, Mother back in the summer of ’95 was positively unforgettable, so it was pretty likely she’d remember us.”
What followed was months upon months of sleepless nights, of planning and plotting. How do you impress a monarchy that’s been ruling an empire for centuries? While the duo wasn’t willing to reveal the entirety of their plan, they were kind enough to provide us with a rider of what the fancy flash mob would require. Here’s a taste of the magic:
- 62 trumpets
- The Phantom of the Opera
- 75 modern dancers
- 75 break dancers
- 82 ballet dancers
- 250 square feet of dance floor
- 300 corgis
- Five tons of confetti
- 215 gallons of glitter glue
- Kiera Knightly
- Kiera Kdaily
- So many bagpipes
- 50 pairs of stilts
- A hot tub full of tea
- 750 white horses
- 90 swans
- A ferris wheel
- 620 powdered wigs
- 30 drone cameras
“What we’ve created pays homage to the marriage of not just two people, but two countries, two cultures.” Brita gushed. “We’re going to wake up a boring old ceremony with a party and a half!”
The Carlsons put together an impressive portfolio that included a 45-minute video pitch and three full-size vision boards and then shipped it across the pond to throw their elaborate hat in the ring. The feeling in the air was one of hope and excitement. That feeling, however, was short lived.
When Prince Philip was hospitalized last month due to unforeseen circumstances that come with being 96 and alive, the royal family had to rethink their wedding entertainment. With such fragile entities in attendance, it was ruled that there would be no surprise elements to the wedding, fearing it would mean the sudden death of multiple monarchs. There’d be no flash mobs. There’d be no Carlson siblings.
“It would be a disservice to your intelligence to say we aren’t heartbroken,” an official statement on the Carlson’s website read. “It’s comforting to know that it was nothing personal, and that Meghan probably still thinks really highly of us. We produce surprises that blow people’s minds. Earth-shattering is inevitable. Having to live with the fact that our stellar performance resulted in the end of a life, royal or otherwise, is not something we’re interested in professionally at this point in time. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Best of luck to the new couple!”