I Slept With Your Wife Because Everything Happens For a Reason
The universe is a funny place. It may seem cold and inscrutable, but a spiritual person like me can recognize that it has a habit of punishing vices and rewarding virtues. Why, just the other day, an alcoholic acquaintance of mine was diagnosed with cirrhosis. If that wasn’t the universe trying to send him a […]
I Pierced My Clit To Enhance My Sex Life And All It’s Gotten Me Is Months of Explaining That To People
I remember hearing from one of my sluttier friends that piercing your clit makes your orgasms better and basically feels like you’re always a little lady hard. Heck yes, I thought! Once I have the time to let one of this baby properly heal, like when I’m unemployed and can just lay around with my […]
I Cloned Myself So I Could Wear Six Different Looks On My Wedding Day
When Alex asked me to marry him I was the happiest girl in the world. I couldn’t wait to tie the knot in front of all our friends, family, and hundreds of other people I invited for the gifts. After hours of picking out table settings, flowers, and bridesmaids thin enough to be in my […]
“Got A Hole? Fill A Hole!” (And Other Perfect Wedding Advice)
This weekend, I watched my friend get married. Waiting in line to greet the bride and groom, I overheard some of the best wedding advice from an attending cousin from Florida: “Got a hole? Fill a hole.” Most of my helpful advice is delivered with my middle finger, but when faced with a blushing bride […]
Meet The Flash Mob That Almost Performed At The Royal Wedding
Tad and Brita Carlson have always loved to put on a show. The brother-sister creative team from Burbank, California has gone from puerile backyard productions of Equus to some of the most elaborate flash mobs of the 21st century. In 2017, Tad and Brita produced a promposal flash mob which involved over 300 extras, two […]
Single And Stuck On A Submarine? Then This Dating App Is For You!
If you’ve been single in the digital age, you know how the story goes: you meet the right guy and/or gal, you connect over your favorite episodes of The Office or where you were during Occupy Wall Street, and you start planting the seeds for a casual fling. You set the date. You set the […]
Why I Won’t Move In With My Boyfriend Until We’re Engaged Or At Least Dating
My friends are often surprised to find out that I won’t move in with a guy until I’ve got a ring or at least an understanding that we are a couple. Sure, it’s a little old fashioned, but it’s what works for me. I’m not some stuffy agony aunt trying to tell you what to […]
This New Form of OxyContin is Truly Better Than Sex
As busy mom and business owner, I often need a pick me up throughout the day. Most of the time, this comes in the form of the pearl-infused matcha latte at the corner shop, but some days, the creamy green goodness just isn’t working. Thankfully, around three months ago, I found a vice that really […]
The Quest For The Crystal! An Interactive Wellness Adventure
Oh boy, I hope I get to lick a doorknob!
4 Times Brock Lesnar Definitely Fell In Love During A Match
Here comes the pain … but maybe, just maybe, the love is worth it.
How I Used The Hinge App To Find The Smartest, Most Successful Exes
Based on my experience, these are hard rules (no exceptions) on how to catch the absolute perfect, most brilliant, driven person ever.
I’m Beginning To Worry Our Nanny Isn’t Really My Ex-Husband In Disguise
Is it possible I jumped the gun?
The Best Life Insurance For Your Soon-To-Be-Dead Husband
Say you already know your healthy husband is about to die from mysterious causes. Which life insurance policy should you choose for him?
What If Bad Things, But Not?
Everything seems awful all of the time these days, but are you sure that’s really the case? We’ll make the case that you should cheer up a bit.
Ways To Find Love Before You Die Tragically On Valentine’s Day
If you gotta go, you gotta go mourned eternally by someone who found true love just to have it slip through their fingers by the cruelty of fate (and that double-decker bus.)