Anxiety-Themed Cocktail Recipes To Spice Up Your Therapy Group

July 9, 2018 by
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Therapy group is an important part of treatment for your anxiety disorder. But gosh is it ever a drag. Spending hours listening to each other’s worry journals can be pretty dry, so why not moisten things up with a few fun cocktails? After all, there’s no better way to practice Progressive Muscle Relaxation than with a Long Island iced tea. Here are a few fun and flirty cocktail recipes to share with your Cognitive Behavioral Therapy group!

The OCDaquiri

It’s all fun and games until OCD makes you want to pull a u-turn on a 5-lane freeway to go back and check to make sure you’ve really turned that stove off! Luckily for us, cocktails don’t need to be cooked on a stove that could silently and odorlessly fill your apartment with explosive gas. Sure, alcohol is flammable, but try not to think about that, or the intrusive thought that spontaneous human combustion could conceivably happen to you. This fruity refreshing Daiquiri will help keep your mind off the rituals that you think you must partake in to stave off an untimely, vastly improbable death:
  • 3 tbsps lime juice.
  • 2 cups ice blended in a food processor. Hey, ever wonder what might happen if one of those blades came off and embedded itself in your forehead?
  • 6 tbsps rum
  • ½ tbsp simple syrup
  • Stir exactly 10 times or terrible things will happen.

The Hypochondria “Mai Taime On This Earth Feels Terrifyingly Fleeting”

Are you grouping vague symptoms to paint a nightmarish portrait of a deadly illness? Do you spend the wee hours of the morning on WebMD, frantically searching for information on whether your eye twitch could be the sign of a neurodegenerative prion disease? Is it normal to urinate this much? Should you be urinating more? Relax. Take a deep breath. Try not to analyze that deep breath for signs of a respiratory illness. Imagine yourself on a beach, with a cool Mai Tai in hand. Can you get bacterial meningitis at the beach? Nonsense, probably. Now back to that Mai Tai:
  • 6 tbsps pineapple juice
  • 1 tbsp grapefruit juice
  • Wait… grapefruit juice?
  • Grapefruit juice increases the potency of certain medications
  • Didn’t you have a Tylenol three days ago?
  • Oh no
  • Relax, it’s only a tiny amount of grapefruit juice
  • Let’s move on
  • 1 tsp grenadine syrup
  • Wait does grenadine come from the Grenadines islands?
  • The CDC issued an alert level two warning about Zika in the Grenadines
  • Not just an alert level one but a TWO
  • 3 ounces orange juice
  • 2 ounces coconut rum
  • Is there ZIKA in your GRENADINE!?

The Seasonal Affective Disorder “Dark ‘n Stormy”

Seriously though, what are the symptoms of Zika? Is it deadly? I mean I do have a headache. And my neck is a bit stiff. Does the CDC even screen imported grenadine?

Gineralized Anxiety Disorder (and Tonic)

Congratulations, GAD sufferers! You have the “salad” of anxiety disorders! A little bit of this, a dash of that, all grouped together under a diagnosis that seems like it was named after the collective shrug of doctors. What exactly do those of us with this disorder worry about? Anything! The world is our anxiety oyster, full of new and surprising ways to panic. Here’s a classic gin and tonic recipe that pairs well with your fear salad:
  • 1 shot gin
  • 4 ounces tonic water
  • Slice of lime
  • 1 tbsp grapefruit juice
  • Hey wait a minute GRAPEFRUIT JUICE again? Are you trying to poison me??

Social Anxiety Beer

Ingredients:
  • Don’t show up to the therapy group cocktail party
  • Beer
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