bunnyears

…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…
… Michael Jordan Comes Out Of Retirement To Dunk On Angela Merkel…
…Reported discovery of new planet turns out to be your mom…
…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…
…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…
…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
…Very smart toilet begs for death…
…Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…
…13th month discovered between February and March….
…Spoiler alert: The milk has gone bad…
…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…
…Did Tupac fake his birth?…
…Single 32 Year Old Patiently Waits For Friends To Get Divorced…
…Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…
…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
…Woman With Scoliosis Has Detailed Knowledge Of Floor-…
…Man pretty sure Game Of Thrones is historically accurate…
…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…
…Local Couple Adopts Blind Dogs And Just Puts Them Down…
…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…
…Report reveals Rice-A-Roni actually from Detroit…
…Survey finds startling amount of ghosts are racist….
…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….
…According to studies accordions are unsteady…
…Sugar daddy eaten by ants…
…Update: Only very tiny hats now cool…
…Quiz: Is This The Good Milk?…
…Adult Hearing Mom Use Their Full Name Still Terrified…
…Study: Loss Of Car Leads To 1000% Catcalling Increase…
…Local white guy “gets it”…
…A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…
…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…
…Violent Pokémon dispute sparks trade war…
…6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…
…New Boyfriend Eats Imitation Crab Straight From The Package…
…Email From Mom Has 4 FWDs In Subject Line…
…Breaking: Absolutely no one wang chunging tonight…
…Single Woman Manages To Meet Food Delivery Minimum…
…Big dick energy drink selling poorly…
…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…
…Woman Memorizes Snapple Fact In Case Tonight’s Party Is That Bad…
…According to studies studying causes cancer…
…Hospital Cracks Down On Patients Getting Chemo For Fun…
…Research shows laughter definitely not the best medicine…
…Man discovers woman already knows thing he was going to tell her….
…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
…Against All Odds, Man Learns To Dance…
…Millennials Are Disrupting The Banjo Industry…
…Breaking – There’s A Spider In Your Pocket…
…Chill Girlfriend Constantly Suppressing Everything…
…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
…Unusually Buff Dog Not Breaking Eye Contact…
…Scientists find that deja vu is just alternate timeline of you dying…
…Am I standing right behind you? The answer might surprise you!…
…Drugs In Water Supply Treat Fish’s Depression…
…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…
…Hurricane wipes out town of Duckberg…
…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…

What Is This Bird Box Service And Can I Order ‘Just The Beaks’?

Everybody on my social media is talking about this “Bird Box.” I guess they haven’t advertised on my favorite podcasts yet, because I’ve never heard of them, but I’m a huge fan of subscription box services. I’m also a huge fan of beaks. Can anyone tell me if I can order just the beaks? I don’t need the whole bird.

I tried to find the site for this “Bird Box” service, but I couldn’t. Does anybody have the link? Do you know if the site layout features a blank space for delivery instructions so I can type “Just the beaks”?

I use every subscription box service and get every mail-order product I hear about on my podcasts. I’m wearing three menstrual cups right now just to make sure I get my money’s worth. It feels so wonderful never having to leave my house for anything. Beaks are one of the few things for which I still need to leave my house. Sometimes, I even still need to remove the bird! What a hassle! I can’t wait for this “Bird Box” service to deliver to my home. I already wrote a song called “Bird Beaks In My Boll And Branch Sheets.” (Side note: Beaks look really pretty in my Birch Box makeup.)

I really hope this “Bird Box” service does offer a “just the beaks” option. I can’t imagine why they wouldn’t. I mean, everybody loves beaks. They’re so useful—in the kitchen, in the living room, even the bedroom. Who doesn’t go through at least five beaks a day? And that’s not even counting when the kids are home from school! I swear, they go through so many beaks.

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I just hate it when my beaks are still attached to birds. I don’t know if this “Bird Box” service delivers dead birds for eating or live birds for friending, but I don’t want either! The last thing I want is some sad pet bird imitating my voice going “Kids, how many times do I have to tell you to clean up your beaks?” or “Did the dog take Mommy’s special beak again?” or “Honey, fish out my special beak!” I don’t want dead birds mailed to our house, either. We are a strictly vegan household, except for beaks and whatever meat slurry Hello Fresh sent us that week.

Listen, I can’t wait for my hand-delivered, artisan-curated beaks to be delivered. I just need to know how this service works. Is it exclusive? How do I get it? Do I have to order a certain amount of stupid trash birds to get my beaks? Please let me know!

Images: Pixabay, Pixabay, Pixabay

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