Four Easy-To-Get Cryptocurrencies That Will Change Your Life
Sorry, Warren Buffett! Cryptocurrency is the way of the future and it’s here to stay. Cryptocurrency, or “Crypto” as us insiders like to call it, is the money our children, our grandchildren, and even our great-great-great-great grandchildren will deal in because it represents freedom and can’t be controlled by a would-be authoritarian government. Through decentralization, it’s everywhere and nowhere at the same time. And the best part? No one truly understands it. That’s what makes it so exciting. But don’t you dare get it twisted: cryptocurrency will make you rich. No matter what. So here are four examples of cheap cryptocurrency that will change your life:
Congratulations! You’re in the garlic game now, player. According to their webpage, Garlicoin was founded on Christmas Day 2017 to “revolutionize the memecoin market.” That’s technical speak and one would have to take pretty intense, masters-level coding courses to even begin to comprehend what they’re saying, but I can tell you that it’s extremely exciting. Take it from a guy who cashed in his 401K and all his Bar Mitzvah bonds to get into Bitcoin when it topped 20K. Garlicoin offers cheap and fast transactions, which is crucial if you’re going to be a cowboy in the crypto game, and it’s completely decentralized. You’re going to want to buy a lot of this… right now.
Filthcoin was launched by an elite collection of top-50 U.S. pornography sites using earnings from the ads they run before and on videos from their community pages – all the weirdest homegrown trash our collective id can come up with. Don’t be a prude! It’s 2018 and porn is mainstream now, so cash in while you still can. The Filthcoin community is also a thriving marketplace for CBD lubricant, which contains Cannabidiol (medical speak for something amazing that has tons of health properties which almost no one understands), so there’s straight cash to be made there too. Filthcoin is poised to go through the roof.
Are you looking for friends, but you’re such a powerhouse hard worker that you don’t have time to make small talk with regular people who probably live paycheck to paycheck? Then Friendies is the currency to get in on the ground floor with. You can buy any portion of a Friendy, but each full Frendy will gain you one new friend. Each time, you’ll get a decentralized (very important) number that will allow you to text back and forth with a (most likely) real person, and a new friendship will bloom. Here’s an example of a great convo from a current Friendy investor:
Modeled after the U.S. Dollar, BitDollar always has a 1:1 conversion rate with the U.S. Dollar. It’s completely decentralized (huge plus!), but doesn’t have the bells and whistles of other cryptos, so it’s easier to understand. It’s a great way to dip your feet into the crypto ocean if you aren’t a go-getter and don’t expect a lot out of your life. Exchanging all your current money for BitDollar will revolutionize the way you use money. It’s 100% decentralized, meaning no one will ever take your money. You won’t even be able to access it most of the time, so it’s safe!
We’re in the midst of the Wild West of Crypto, and you need to act fast if you want to get rich and buy that suped-up Segway. With more currencies popping up every day (Giblets are valued at $150,000,000 and there are only four of them in circulation), you must strike now.
The currency of the future is also a community, so let’s all help each other out. Comment below with your favorite crypto that’s changing your life.
I’m elbow deep in that white hot Venezuelan Petro.
No doubt I’ll come up a winner. Got a third mortgage on my home, sold my life insurance policy and tapped that Mesothelioma settlement my dear old dad provided me. I am all in, homie. I’ll be driving my Lambo around Mars in no time.
I quit my job and live with my parents and my girlfriend just left me… I’m being separated from by society and I dont think things are going to improve anytime soon… and I am loving every fucking minute of it you dumb motherfuckers. fuck money what up Richie Rich? was Michael Jackson a good friend? looking back that must have been fucking weird as shit… I love you
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