Forget His Weird Teeth, Is The New Sonic Circumcised?

July 23, 2019 by , featured in Pop Culture
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Last month’s promotion for the upcoming Sonic the Hedgehog movie raised a lot of questions. People seemed irate over both his human-like legs and teeth. But to be honest, most of our questions are about his dick. Specifically: Is the new Sonic circumcised?

What would hedgehog circumcision mean, you ask?

Great question. The first thing to note is that a hedgehog penis is actually well north of most mammals. The penis is between the navel and crotch, in an area more associated with hernias. This has both costs and benefits. While abdominal surgery is no joke, it has a better athletic recovery rate than groin injury. If our hedgehog pal is cut, he still has a fighting chance on the racetrack.

And The Trailer Provide A Subtle Clue

The trailer takes place in the Pacific Northwest. Circumcision is particularly unpopular on the West Coast (somewhere around 32% compared to 60% in the rest of the country). So odds are distinctly in favor of Sonic being uncircumcised. Hopefully, we’ll know for sure when the actual movie comes out in 2020 (we can’t imagine they’d ignore such an important detail).

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Finally, in this whole “Is the new Sonic circumcised?” debacle, it’s worth noting that there’s a fan-fiction Wiki for Sonic The Hedgehog called “Sonic Uncut.” We also found an article on peer-reviewed medical research portal PubMed entitled, “Sonic hedgehog, the penis and erectile dysfunction: A review of sonic hedgehog signaling in the penis.” So clearly we’re not the only ones asking these hard-hitting questions. We hope you’re listening, Paramount.

Images: Paramount Pictures


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