How To Monitor Your Midi-Chlorians To Live Your Best Life
Midi-Chlorians. We all have them! Some of us have a high Midi-Chlorian count; we excel in life, have a strong connection to the Force, and deep flourishing relationships. Others have a low Midi-Chlorian count, and they’re people too! But whether you have a lot or a little, monitoring your Midi-Chlorians and developing a relationship with them will lead to a long, fulfilling life. Let’s dive in with all the answers to your burning questions!
Q
What are Midi-Chlorians and what do they do in our bodies?
A
Our bodies do a lot – they digest food, help us train for pod races, move blood to different areas during sleep, and so much more – and that’s all thanks to Midi-Chlorians. Midi-Chlorians are hyper-intelligent and communicate with one another to power all aspects of our lives. They’re tiny people who live in our bodies. It’s a very simple fact we often take for granted! The more Midi-Chlorians we have, the more connected we are with the Force and the healthier we are. When we identify our Midi-Chlorians and begin communicating with them, we develop a rapport, and they become even more helpful in preventing disease, honing our star fighter skills, keeping our skin young and glowy, and metabolizing the nutrients we ingest.
Q
How do I monitor my Midi-Chlorians?
A
You can monitor your Midi-Chlorian count with an easy blood test. First, take a sample of your blood in a safe, sterile way. Next, you’ll need to find Qui Gon Jin or an equally strong Jedi Master because they’re the ones with the equipment to test your red blood cells. Qui Gon can sometimes be found on Naboo or Tatooine, but the Jedi Council as a whole resides on Coruscant , so that’s a great place to start. Once you find Qui Gon, give him your blood sample and ask him to run it through his meter. Keep a close eye on Qui Gon. Notice his facial expressions as he reads your results. If he raises an eyebrow, it probably means you have a high Midi-Chlorian count. This is huge. The Jedi Council is definitely going to want to meet you. You’re on your way to a vibrant, healthy life.
Q
Darth Plagueis keeps appearing in my dreams, telling me I can create life and bring back my dead loved ones using Midi-Chlorians if I embrace the dark side of the Force. What should I do?
A
Search your feelings. What’s going on with you? Are you sleeping well? Eating before bedtime? Trouble at work? Spending too much time with Darth Sidious? Something’s definitely going on and it sounds like you’re in a dark place. Get that negative energy out!
Q
I have a low Midi-Chlorian count. Can I still have a long, happy life?
A
Sure! There are tons of people in the Galaxy who aren’t force sensitive and still make money to be able to buy the right products and super foods to stay young and spunky for years to come. Try being a smuggler or maybe even a bounty hunter! Jabba the Hutt is a notorious (and in desperate need of exfoliation) gangster who is often in the market for bounty hunters, so he would be a great person to start networking with.
And don’t be a glass half empty person. Even if you don’t have a lot of Midi-Chlorians, you can still develop deep and meaningful relationships with the ones you do have. Your Midi-Chlorians are much smarter than you, so once you’ve monitored them and have a lay of the land, start asking them questions. Get them talking because they’re an invaluable resource (Ex. What’s the best juice for gut health? In how many parsecs do you think I can make the Kessel run? What’s the lowest SPF I can use while still being safe?).
There you have it! That’s pretty much your complete guide to monitoring your Midi-Chlorians and using them to live your best life. If you feel like we left anything out or you have any more questions, please leave a comment below. And as they say in our Galaxy and Galaxies far far away… Let the Force remain alongside yourself!
IMAGES: Wookieepedia, Disney, Lucasfilm, Theme Park Tourist (Flickr)
