bunnyears

…Breaking – There’s A Spider In Your Pocket…
…Local Couple Adopts Blind Dogs And Just Puts Them Down…
…According to studies studying causes cancer…
…Local white guy “gets it”…
…Millennials Are Disrupting The Banjo Industry…
…Reported discovery of new planet turns out to be your mom…
…Chill Girlfriend Constantly Suppressing Everything…
…Big dick energy drink selling poorly…
…Against All Odds, Man Learns To Dance…
…Email From Mom Has 4 FWDs In Subject Line…
…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…
…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…
…Breaking: Absolutely no one wang chunging tonight…
…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
…Did Tupac fake his birth?…
…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…
…Single Woman Manages To Meet Food Delivery Minimum…
…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…
…Man discovers woman already knows thing he was going to tell her….
…Update: Only very tiny hats now cool…
…According to studies accordions are unsteady…
…Unusually Buff Dog Not Breaking Eye Contact…
…Sugar daddy eaten by ants…
…Man pretty sure Game Of Thrones is historically accurate…
…New Boyfriend Eats Imitation Crab Straight From The Package…
…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….
…Report reveals Rice-A-Roni actually from Detroit…
…6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…
…A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…
…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
…Hurricane wipes out town of Duckberg…
…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…
…Single 32 Year Old Patiently Waits For Friends To Get Divorced…
…Research shows laughter definitely not the best medicine…
…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…
…Am I standing right behind you? The answer might surprise you!…
…Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…
…Violent Pokémon dispute sparks trade war…
…Quiz: Is This The Good Milk?…
…Study: Loss Of Car Leads To 1000% Catcalling Increase…
…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…
…Survey finds startling amount of ghosts are racist….
…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…
…Drugs In Water Supply Treat Fish’s Depression…
…Adult Hearing Mom Use Their Full Name Still Terrified…
… Michael Jordan Comes Out Of Retirement To Dunk On Angela Merkel…
…Spoiler alert: The milk has gone bad…
…Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…
…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…
…Woman Memorizes Snapple Fact In Case Tonight’s Party Is That Bad…
…Woman With Scoliosis Has Detailed Knowledge Of Floor-…
…Hospital Cracks Down On Patients Getting Chemo For Fun…
…13th month discovered between February and March….
…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…
…Very smart toilet begs for death…
…Scientists find that deja vu is just alternate timeline of you dying…

Episode 34 – Hot Hot Heat (Annotated)

jesus christ it is too hot

Hi, I’m Craig The Intern, and they make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! I want to die.

The Guest: No guest just unrelenting heat.

The Lowdown:

This week, Mack, Matt and a returning and triumphant Stew have recorded a podcast about how hot it currently is in New York City. It’s apparently very hot.

And… so I could “feel their pain”, Matt has ordered that I write this recap from a parked car, sat in the sun, with the windows closed and also for some reason the song “What Would You Do? By City High on repeat.

So… I’m now hot too.

The boys are also hot, and they complain about it a bunch, in detail, including stuff about their “Junk” which I didnt appreciate.

They try and remember the hottest places they’ve ever been, but they’re wrong because none of them have been in this Mercury Montego.

The chat segues into them being hot some more (real one note if you ask me, but no one ever does and I’ve been told my opinion is worthless anyway), and then they discuss ways to beat the heat. Swimming? Air conditioners? Letting me out of this car?

For some reason, animals come up, and the boys discuss which animal is best suited for hot weather. Answer; NOT Craig the Intern. I can taste my own blood, right now.

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Mack suggest Matt gets a ferret and Stew talks about skunks and honestly why do I even do this to myself? I have a BFA from Five Towns College. I was voted most likely to vote, my senior year in high school. I’m better than this. WE’RE better than this!

Then they talk about ice, and ice cream, and vanilla ice, and maybe… polar bears? I kind of stopped paying attention when I realized that I can’t feel my fingers. Wait- are fingers a thing you can feel? Like… your OWN fingers? Is that a thing?

Meanwhile, Stew is still talking about Skunks? Apparently you can de-scent them. I wish someone would de-skin me.

I’m Mr. green Christmas
I’m Mr. Sun.
I’m Mr. Heat Blister
I’m Mr. One Hundred and one
They call me Heat Miser
Whatever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch.
I’m too much!
He’s mister Heat Miser
He’s mister sun
He’s mister heat blister
He’s mister hundred and one
They call me Heat Miser
Whatever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch.
He’s too much
I never wanna know a day
That’s under 60 degrees.
I’d rather have it
80, 90, 100 degrees!
They call me Heat Miser
Whatever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch.
I’m too much
Too much!

Those are the lyrics to the Heatmiser song from Year Without a Santa Claus. I stopped listening to the podcast a while ago and now am just repeating the Heatmiser song over and over and over, hoping that if I give in and dedicate myself to him fully he will MAKE THIS ALL GO AWAY.

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Then they do plugs and mention the voicemail and tell everyone to suck dick.

I hate podcasts.

Contact The Guys!
Email: [email protected]
Twitter: @bunnyearspod
Instagram: @bunnyearspodcast
Telephone: 845-EZE-HOAX

Mack
Twitter @IncredibleCulk
Instagram: Culkamania

Stew
Twitter: @SuaveAdventurer
Instagram: @SuaveAdventurer

Matt Cohen
Twitter: @Cameltoad
Instagram: @Cameltoad

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1 Comment
  1. For this Hot Hot Heat episode, I would have never thought that New York would be hot outside.. If you want to see even more hot weather, try Mississippi (My home state) Mississippi does get quite hot.. I thought New York was cold…

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