Color Of The Month: That Weird Blue Color In Skim Milk
When we choose our Colors of the Month, we look for something that embodies not only the magic of color science, but the general state of the world at large. That’s why this month, our pick is something both unsettling and slightly nauseating. Something that gets worse the more you think about it. Our Color of the Month for October is officially skim-milk blue.
Blue Should Not Be for Eating
Let’s begin by pointing out a basic food safety rule: Anything that’s blue is not for eating. Sure, blueberries have blue skins, but even they have enough sense to be sort of grape-green on the inside. Milk, which is already gross enough when you actually stop to think about it, should 100% not be blue in any way. Milk is white, no matter what all our dads said about brown cows making chocolate milk. Milk. Should. Not. Be. Blue.
It’s Also the Color of Dieting, Which Sucks
Skim-milk blue brings with it a special feeling of disappointment. When our hearty ancestors worked the land and lived free, they covered their porridge with full-fat cream. They were rosy-cheeked and not hungry again in 45 minutes! Skim-milk blue, however, is the color of Millennial workers forced to sit stagnant behind desks and eat salads. It’s also the color of waxen skin, carpal tunnel, and having to steal little packages of sweetener from Starbucks because of the freelance economy.
It Just Makes No Sense
As we understand it, skim milk is creepy and blue because all the fat was removed. Obviously, this raises the question: Does fat make things not blue in general? If we lost weight, would we start looking like Avatars? Why aren’t hairless cats blue? They’re skinny as fuck! It makes no goddamn sense, much like the world we live in.