Wiping Out Half the Universe: Could Thanos’ Plan Be The Key to Spiritual Wellness?

April 26, 2018 by , featured in Spiritual Wellness
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Thanos has many aliases – The Mad Titan, The Most Powerful Being in the Universe, Daddy, The Dark Lord, Father, and Genocidal Maniac – and yet we still don’t know that much about who he is. Here’s what we do know: Thanos is a very driven person who has been manipulating his Chitauri army, Ronan the Accuser and even our favorite trickster God Loki to help him collect the six Infinity Stones. Pretty standard goal for a galactic warlord. Nothing too surprising. The nuance lies in why Thanos wants to obtain the Infinity Stones. Thanos wants to destroy half the universe. While this sounds terrifying, could Thanos’ plan be the key to spiritual wellness? Let’s explore.

There’s a 50% Chance Your Coworker Who Brings A Dark Energy Into The Workspace Will No Longer Exist

thanos fighting the avengers

No one wants half the universe to be wiped out, but let’s be positive and focus on the upsides! There’s a good chance that your annoying coworker, the one who says things like, “I thought I’d have kids by this point,” and “No one ever comes to see my train set,” will no longer exist. That would sure brighten things up around the ol’ office. Coworkers who bring in bad vibes, or just generally bum everyone out, can really affect your mood. You shouldn’t suffer spiritually because they aren’t interesting and smell like an open package of salami. This very well could be part of Thanos’ plan.

With Pluto Gone, We No Longer Have To Live In Limbo

thanos fighting the avengers

How many times a week do you find yourself feeling anxious, asking, “Well is Pluto a planet or isn’t it?!” This is just part of our daily routine now and it leaves us with this feeling of uncertainty that can fester and infiltrate every aspect of our spiritual lives. If Thanos obtains the Infinity Stones, he will surely obliterate Pluto and that will wipe out our feelings of certainty once and for all. If Pluto no longer exists, problem solved. Thanos is whip smart and definitely knows what we’re talking about here on Earth. It’s not out of the question that he’s thinking about this uncertainty and wants to help us.

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More Lavender

thanos fighting the avengers

This one is pretty self explanatory.  Lavender soothes the mind, body and soul, and with half the universe wiped out, there’s a lot more of it for those of us left. Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, Black Widow, Scarlett Witch, The Vision, Spiderman, Black Panther, Hulk, The Star Lord Peter Quill, Gamora, Groot, Rocket Raccoon, Nebula, Drax the Destroyer, Shuri, Okoye, Mantis, War Machine, Doctor Strange, Benedict Wong, Falcon and Bucky Barnes can likely defeat Thanos, but let’s be prepared for the other scenario and take the glass half full approach!

You Can Finally Catch Up On Your Content

thanos fighting the avengers

A crucial part of spiritual wellness is watching documentaries, listening to podcasts, and engaging in peak television discussions. These tools teach why food is bad for us, how the drug trade in Baltimore infiltrated every facet of the city, and the benefits of listening to a three hour conversation about ayahuasca experiences. This is all crucial information for being alive in 2018. The problem is that there is too much content! We can never truly catch up and that adds dangerous stress to our lives. If The Mad Titan flicks the purple Power Stone, eviscerating 3.5 billion individuals, there will surely be less content, and it will give us all a chance to listen/watch/read everything we need to. That doesn’t sound so bad!

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The Mueller Investigation Could Speed Up If There Are Fewer People Under Investigation

thanos fighting the avengers

The news cycle has become pretty overwhelming. The emotional trauma of reading headlines like, “Trump’s Lawyer Michael Cohen Could Flip,” andThanos Pummels Spider-man” surely desensitizes us. It’s hard to see no end in sight to the investigation and Thanos’ conquest. Maybe one problem can solve the other. Robert Mueller leaves no stone unturned, but things will surely move faster if half of his investigation vanishes. Let’s not be morbid and name names, let’s just agree that we wouldn’t miss some of these people.

Humans fear the unknown. It’s very difficult not knowing if you’re going to get that next promotion or if Thanos is going to find the Soul Stone and snap his fingers, killing you instantly. It’s our jobs as emotionally evolved beings to breathe through it and focus on gratitude.  So do what you have to do, Thanos, just makes sure your intentions are pure.

Image(s): Marvel Studios, NASA, Wikipedia


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