Vacation Guide: The Closet Of The Woman You’re Having An Affair With

August 30, 2019 by , featured in Travel Guides
Share this on
  • 27
    Shares

You’re having an affair, and it looks like Robert came home early from that conference again. So grab on to your pants and belt—it’s closet time! And we’re here to tell you the highlights of this often-frequented destination. 

1. The Hangers

We highly encourage taking the time to enjoy the areal views of the closet. Look up from the fetal position you’re currently curled up in from under that gingham jacket and take in the variety. There’s cloth-covered hangers for more delicate garments, those kinds with the clips for skirts and slacks, and—wow—even those tiered ones to help economize on space! You won’t be disappointed.

2. The Abyss of Shoes

Check out the loafers, the clogs, and ah, yes, the single slipper that doesn’t seem to have a partner (if that isn’t a metaphor for your life, we don’t know what is). 

3. Jewelry Boxes

To the right you have the Leaning Tower of Jewelry Boxes, all of which undoubtedly hold trinkets of love that Robert bought the woman you’re currently smashing. Be sure to take in the detail and craftsmanship—Robert hand-carried many of these from Italy.

4. The High School Yearbooks 

If you get bored/Robert is still on the other side of the door, do a little bit of light reading by flipping through the stack of yearbooks conveniently lying around. They’re sure to be an entertaining read. Pro tip: Use the faint glow of your cell phone as a flashlight. Just be sure the sound is off—otherwise it’ll be a pretty bad scene if you get a call.

 5. The Laundry Basket

FYI you might have to take an impromptu detour here if Robert opens the closet door. Your affair can’t get out. It will ruin everything.

6. That Drawer That’s His That Should Be Yours

Love’s a giant bitch, and this tour of the closet will do nothing if not bring that home. Just be sure you brought some granola bars, because this might be another all-night destination.

MORE FROM BUNNY EARS
Dreamy Spring Beach Escapes That Are Already Booked By Better People

Image: Photo by Artem Beliaikin from Pexels, Pixabay 


Share this on
  • 27
    Shares

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Spruce Up Your Dead Uncle’s Creepy Cabin For A Cheap Summer Vacay


The Hottest Vacation Spots I Need To Write About For Tax Purposes


Beautiful Places In The World To Wake Up On Purpose This Time


Trave Guide: My Purse


5 Hot Places We’re Visiting This Winter While You Suckers Freeze


Cool Stuff to Buy

Stalk Us

logo
Home Lifestyle Pop Culture Wrestling Podcasts Videos About Us