Let Your Nemesis Know You’re Thriving With These Tasteful Billboards

July 11, 2019 by , featured in Lifestyle
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Being a woman in today’s world is hard. And it’s even worse when other ladies try to make it harder (because, let’s be real—competition among women is a real thing). Just remember: The best way to cope with negative energy is to pay the bitches no mind—while simultaneously making sure they can’t take theirs off of you. A great way to do this is through a series of giant billboards targeted at your nemesis. Negativity is often about jealously—so give the haters something truly majestic to admire!

A Tasteful Billboard Of Your Face

You know you have great hair and cheek bones for days. And so will your enemies with a billboard featuring you at your best. Imagine your hater passing your giant smile on her way to her crappy job. This billboard will also serve as an investment since self-promotion is key to getting ahead in this world.

Your Mom With The Caption, “I’m Proud of my Daughter”

This may not even be true at the moment considering she just bailed you out of a shit-ton of credit card debt, but thanks to the lobbying efforts of the pharmaceutical industry, no one fact-checks billboards.

Your Boyfriend’s Best Body Part 

Show your nemesis just how good you’re doing right now with a billboard featuring Todd’s adorable smile or dazzling eyes. Just don’t post anything from the waist-down, because Todd is very into cargo shorts this year (but she doesn’t need to know that).

Her Boyfriend’s Best Body Part: Featuring You Admiring It

Remind your nemesis that her boyfriend Blake has great arms, and that you two have known each other since middle school and your dads are really good friends.

Your Bank Statement

Beyoncé always says the best revenge is your paper. So what better way to show your enemy “what’s good” than by advertising how much more you make than she does? (Or, if necessary, by lying and pretending you do). Either way, it will feel really, really good. At least for a few days. Ultimately nothing will fill the void except true self-worth and a loving heart—but who has the time?

If you liked this, you’ll probably ALSO like We Apologize for Endorsing Sex with Men.


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