How To Live A Carefree Life: Murder Care Bears
Welcome to another Bunny Ears how-to guide, in which we provide you with the necessary steps to live a better, more fulfilling life. Today, we’ll discuss the ins and outs of murdering Care Bears. If we want to live a carefree life, we need to stop giving any and all fucks. Truly, it’s what keeps us young! But this is where Care Bears present a problem, because these little bastards make us care a lot. Ergo, in order to be carefree, we need to murder some Care Bears. Here’s how.
1. Burn Your Forest of Feelings
The Forest of Feelings lies deep inside all of us—but it’s also a real place where real Care Bears live. Venture there, and take some gasoline and a pack of matches. Do not be distracted by the cute little Care Bears that don’t want you to murder them. Remember, it’s their job to make you feel things. Do not fall for their blatant manipulation. Light that forest up, and don’t look back as you saunter on to the cloudy city of Care-a-Lot.
2. Kill Them With Your “No-Care Stare”
Any surviving Care Bears will likely try to overpower you with their hypnotizing Care Bear Stare. This is where you beat them at their own game. Thanks to the countless Care Bears you’ve already roasted alive, your apathy will be much stronger now. Initiate your own No-Care Stare and watch them evaporate, just like your humanity.
3. Care-a-Lot About Nothing
Congratulations! You did it. You can finally, and with full conviction, exclaim to the world that you do not give a rat’s ass about literally anything. Caring is for bears, and your Care Bears are dead, just like your hopes and dreams. See? The lack of fucks truly were inside you all along!
Images: Pexels/American Greetings