My Health Insurance Only Covers Wrestling Doctors

April 10, 2022 by , featured in Wrestling
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Being a wrestling fan can be painful. Especially if you—as I do—actually try all those moves at home. So I signed up for some much needed health insurance at since it was on sale and I had the promo code BROKEAF. Turns out the only doctors in-network are wrestling doctors … as in wrestlers who play doctors. And I was pleasantly surprised by how not so bad it was!

The Doctor of Style, Slick



Well, the plan’s not so bad so long as you don’t mind a Walt Clyde Frazier ’70s pimp suit to cure what ails you. Thankfully, Slick smartened me up to what real style looks like, because I was stuck in a major skulls phase inspired by Triple H. I’m still coughing blood though.

Dr. Tom Pritchard

When you’re feeling a little bloated, look no further than the BodyDonnas themselves. It’s pretty okay provided you don’t mind the buzzcut, the bleach blonde hair, and the co-payment upsell from that Sunny girl at reception. She was real pushy and didn’t seem to trust me when I told her I didn’t have a Skype account. Worth it though to lose all that water weight.

Dr. Death Steve Williams


It’s a shame Steve has passed on, because his Oklahoma Stampede Powerslam Therapy wasn’t so bad compared to most defibrillators on the market.

Dr. Isaac Yankem DDS

It’s pretty cool that the insurance covers dental, too. There were all sorts of horror stories about Yankem, but I found him to be very not so bad when it came to my cleaning. He even threw in a bonus incisor extraction, free of charge!

The Doctor of Thuganomics, John Cena

If you can get an appointment to see wrestling doctor JC, he’ll have you flipping tables and cop cars before you know it (which is great if you’re struggling with self-esteem). You may have to wear a padlock and a heavy-ass bike chain around your neck for a few weeks, but when you get used to it, it’s not so bad.

Images: Pexels, WWE

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