Fashion Tips From Triple H—For The Skull-Loving Executive

As a CEO, I—Paul “Triple H” Levesque—have to project confidence and professionalism to my board of directors. However, I also have to look intimidating enough to let-up-and-coming wrestlers know that I might come back into the ring at any time. So how do I maintain my business look while still projecting my status as a butt kicker? Skulls. There is nothing cooler than skulls. They are both scary and relatable. We all have skeletons inside us, but we’d never want to meet one because they would probably beat us up. So cool. So without further ado, here are some full-proof fashion tips from the undisputed king of fashion, me, Triple H.

1. Shiny Skull Bracelets

I know what you’re saying. Bracelets? On a big tough guy like me? But even bracelets can be cool if they’re made out of skulls. However, don’t use full human sized skulls. They can make little skulls out of metal now. So take these tiny skulls, have your kids put them on a little string, and wear it next to your watch. Now whenever a sales marketing guy asks for the time, BAM! Skull O’Clock!

2. Silky Skull Underwear

Every businessman knows that the undercarriage is your number one point of expression. Business on the outside, skeleton party on the inside. When I get home after a long day of signing young talent to long and exclusive contracts, I know I’ve always got my special skull buddy on to make me feel my best.

3. Skull Tattoo

For another fashion tip from Triple H, try skull tattoos. Tattoos are cool. They are drawings that hurt. As a CEO, however, I can’t really have any skull tattoos on my neck, because that might scare a nerd that answers emails for a living. So where are my skull tattoos? At great expense, I had my face surgically peeled back, then I got a tattoo of a skull on my skull. So now I have two skulls. That makes me twice as cool as you.

4. A Skull Throne

By all means, decorate your CEO throne however you like. For me, nothing beats some skulls on sticks around my throne (shaped like a motorcycle cross, fyi). When you’re making a big international deal, it feels comforting to be surrounded by a big skeleton posse. They may not have ears, but they are GREAT listeners.

These are just a few tips to help you dominate the boardroom like I dominate the ring. It’s okay to skimp on some things in life, but never skimp on your skull spending. 

Image: WWE