Oh hai readers, I’m Craig The Intern. Anyway, how’s your sex life? They make me transcribe these every week. Everything’s going great so far! This week’s episode is about movies, but don’t plan too much; it may not come out right!
Greg Sestero, a.k.a. Mark from The Room
This week’s subject is movies, which everyone has an opinion on and was much-requested. This week’s guest is part of the history of cinema in a very unusual way…Greg Sestero from The Room, whom Mack and Matt refer to as “Sinestro,” as opposed to the more canon nickname of “Sestosterone,” but the Green Lantern referenence is a joke he seems to get. It seems the anecdote in The Disaster Artist was true—he wanted to get into the movie business ever since he saw Home Alone. Mack is his acting hero, and our cohost is flattered. Greg wanted to live in that movie, and once wrote a script in which he was Kevin McAllister’s buddy who goes with him to Disney World.
Said pitch never made it to Mack’s desk. Matt loves Beverly Hills Cop 3 and all threequels that take place in amusement parks, soooo…is everyone too old to get this made, or can we still maybe do it? Greg does still have a copy of the script. Mack pitches a version where they’re the bandits. Matt wants to shoot it on his iPhone. Now that Fox and Disney are merging maybe this will be more possible.
Greg actually did send the script to John Hughes, and got a nice thank-you note telling him to follow his dreams. He’s not sure Hughes would have been proud to have inspired The Room. But maybe Tommy Wiseau could be a wet bandit in a possible Home Alone 5: The Room 2?
Matt recalls writing a letter to the Queen of England in 7th grade, warning her about the Kraken.
After seeing The Disaster Artist, Greg was inspired to write something in which Tommy Wiseau would basically play a vampire, and that’s how Best Friends came about, though Tommy had an unusual stipulation that involved getting platform heels and custom pants. They talk more about the movie and what a “special soul” Tommy is. Unfortunately there are no Home Alone references, but Mack volunteers to do some commentary. Greg had actually pitched for Mack to play him in The Disaster Artist. Mack says Dave Franco will be disappointed when he’s not in their new Home Alone movie that pretends all but the first two never happened.
Greg’s favorite all-time movie is Back to the Future, for its rewatchability and payoff of every plant. Mack picks Big Trouble in Little China, Arthur, and Pee-wee’s Big Adventure as faves. Matt, shockingly (not), picks Dazed and Confused as his favorite. Then they talk about what “phony-baloney” picks they’d name to make themselves look better, and Jake Gyllenhaal. Matt went to three film schools and got zero credits.
Have they ever walked out of a movie? Greg says Dumb and Dumber To and The Phantom Menace. Mack remembers a D.B. Sweeney movie, but it takes a while to figure out which one. Matt’s was Stealing Harvard. The D.B. Sweeney movie was called Sons. Matt and Mack talk about how they secretly took smoke breaks during movies, and how to look innocent when your 40 rolls away from you.
They talk disappointing movies, and Greg says The Room. He mentions his mother is French, so he and Mack talk about France. Then they get into Indiana Jones movies, with Last Crusade a group fave, and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull…not. Mack disses the Matrix sequels. Matt remembers his disappointment with Reign of Fire. Favorite sequels? Home Alone 2, obviously. Maybe Last Crusade. Gremlins 2.
Which Hulk Hogan movie has a a background shot of a guy throwing a dog into the ocean? Nobody can name it.
Greg’s favorite guilty pleasure is Johnny Suede. Matt and Mack like Josie and the Pussycats. Matt loves Southland Tales, and recalls taking grief back in the day for loving “girl movie” Clueless. They compare Southland Tales to The Room. Greg mentions another movie he did called Alien Presence that has just come out and might dethrone The Room. (Not if Tommy’s not in it, surely?) He hopes nobody sees it, but mentioned it anyway. Greg says guilty pleasures need to be rewatchable, and Birdemic isn’t that, but The Room is.
Greg denies Denny was ever supposed to be autistic, but rather the all-American teenager as interpreted by Tommy. “Lovable weirdo” Tommy has retconned that since. They mention that he was advised to take of his sunglasses at the various Disaster Artist awards shows, and he refused.
There’s discussion of current movies, including A Quiet Place, Hereditary, Infinity War, Snowpiercer, The Witch, and more. Then on to best Miyazaki movies, and French films. Is Trainspotting a foreign language film, given how incomprehensible it is? Mack seems to catch upon every movie on a plane.
Greg has a heartwarming anecdote about Chris Columbus coming up to Tommy, but not listening to Greg and his Home Alone love. Mack still sounds serious about Greg’s Home Alone 3 script, in which Greg’s character was in fact named Mark. Greg’s next project will be a horror film.
The show closes out with ideas for potential sequels to The Room. The Lord’s work.
9:20 Greg brought Tommy Wiseau to the Home Alone house.
12:15 Tommy’s sole, strange condition for making Best Friends
24:07 Why did Mack do an accidental Ethan Embry movie marathon?
32:25 What you notice if you slow down Back to the Future Part III.
40:30 Greg hears back from the flower shop woman from The Room
Movie trailer edition!
The entire movie Sons that Mack walked out of:
A breakdown of Southland Tales.
Contact The Guest!
Contact The Guys!
Image: Wiseau Films